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Stanley Cup fans wouldn’t have returned it Since 1909, the Grey Cup has been broken, forgotten, misplaced, lost and even held for ransom. But never stolen from a bar.

That is, until Thursday.

Toronto Argonauts kicker Mike Vanderjagt took the CFL championship trophy to a bar in his home town of Oakville, Ontario, Thursday night, and allowed admirers to drink from it. When Vanderjagt was ready to leave, the trophy had vanished.

One woman among a group of students drinking from the cup reportedly joked she would pay $100 to have the Grey Cup in her apartment. When she arrived home, she found the trophy in her kitchen.

It was returned and no charges will be filed.

If only it had been so easy to locate O.J. Simpson’s Heisman Trophy.

That new math is so complicated

How bad is it in Dallas, where the Cowboys are 6-7 and a long shot to make the NFL playoffs?

For one, their coach is completely flustered.

“I don’t know if we can get into the playoffs now,” Cowboys coach Barry Switzer said Thursday after his team lost to Tennessee. “I don’t want to figure that out right now. Does 9-6 get in there? I don’t know.”

Two things, Barry. First, you already have seven losses. And second, the season has 16 games, not 15.

Snoozing snooker fan enlivens match

A snooker match turned out to be a real snore for one fan, whose noisy slumber cracked the poker faces of the competitors at a match in Liverpool, England.

A soundly sleeping spectator interrupted a match between Stephen Hendry and Alan McManus.

McManus began to laugh as he lined up a shot, and had to step back from the table.

Referee Jan Verhaas and Hendry joined in the chuckles, which went on for several minutes until someone woke the fan, who made a quick exit.

The fan thought he was at a baseball game.

Seventh nearly heavenly

For about six minutes, a group of New York racing fans at an OTB parlor thought they had it made.

At 4:03 p.m. EST Wednesday, the seventh race went off at Churchill Downs in Louisville, Ky. But the betting windows at a New York Western Regional Off-Track Betting center didn’t close. For six long minutes, continuing well after the race was run, the windows stayed open and the bets kept pouring in.

Of all the races at the Downs that day, the seventh was the plumb. The winning horse, Scads, was a 14-1 long shot, and the second- and third-place finishers were long shots at 5-1 and 6-1.

A trifecta of the three paid $795, and a $20 bet put the winnings well above $7,000.

Some $775 in wagers were placed late - most after the horses had crossed the finish line. Because they were placed on long shots and almost exclusively on a trifecta of the winning horses, the wagers would have pulled in $51,900.

The money was never paid, but it should have gone to other bettors around the country instead. The payouts were made before Churchill learned of the problem, and the money couldn’t feasibly be rerouted to the legal winners.

The last word …

“Houston Nutt for governor.”

- Readerboard at Chili’s Bar and Grill in Boise after Boise State, coached by Houston Nutt, defeated Idaho.

, DataTimes