Healthy Future Could Depend On Behavior Now

Dear Ann Landers: This letter is for your younger readers. I hope they will see how a casual attitude about sex can scar them for life. I am a 34-year-old married woman who is trying to become pregnant, but it doesn’t look promising. All I have ever wanted in life was to be a mother, but I don’t know if I will ever be able to have a child because of my past history.

When I was in college, I became sexually active. I slept with more men than I care to admit. I got married in my 20s to someone I knew wasn’t right for me, but I was afraid nobody else would ask me. We divorced shortly after.

Somewhere in my wild days, I picked up an infection that left me infertile. I found out about it when I needed some minor surgery and the doctor told me I had quite a lot of scar tissue from an infection. It seems the scar tissue damaged the inside of my fallopian tubes.

I am now married to a wonderful man who very much wants children, and the guilt I feel is overwhelming. We are going to try in-vitro fertilization, and if that fails, we will look into adoption. Somehow, we will be parents, but this whole ordeal has been terribly difficult.

Tell your young readers to be careful. If they are sexually active, they should know their partner’s sexual history and, above all, use protection. I am writing this letter with the hope that I can save others the heartache that I am going through. - Suffering in St. Louis, Mo.

Dear St. Louis: You are paying a heavy price for the mistakes you made years ago. It should, however, be a comfort to know that sharing your experience with thousands of young readers will surely result in some of them modifying their behavior. Thank you for writing a letter that must have been very difficult. It was well worth the effort.

Dear Ann Landers: You printed a bunch of responses to the letter from “Upset on Long Island,” who thought guests should give expensive gifts to compensate the bride’s parents for the money they spent on the wedding. I was pleased when my reply was among them and you used my name. However, it produced some surprising results.

I received phone calls and letters from friends in Pennsylvania, Kansas, Texas, North Carolina and Washington and from complete strangers in Ohio. I had several people call me at home and comment that their relatives in other states had seen the column and had called to tell them about it. Then, we attended an out-of-state wedding the week the column appeared, and I was introduced as “The Man Who Wrote to Ann Landers.” So thanks for my 15 minutes of fame. - Ken Burditt, Whispering Pines, N.C.

Dear Ken: Get ready for more phone calls. In addition to your 15 minutes of fame, you’re going to have at least another 10. Enjoy!

Dear Ann Landers: I have read your earlier columns on frivolous lawsuits and judges who make weird decisions. I know of a solution to the problem.

I was the victim of a frivolous lawsuit, and it became crystal clear to me as I was sitting in the courtroom. The solution is simplicity itself. Make the loser pay all legal fees and court costs. That will do it. - Dennis in Raleigh, N.C.

Dear Dennis: Brilliant! And now I’ll hear from a zillion lawyers telling me why it wouldn’t work.