Comedy Central Parodies Supermodels In ‘Milo’

Beware of “super.”

Super-premium, superstore, Super Bowl - a super-anything is sure to be too pricey, too big, too deadly dull.

Which brings us to supermodels, and to “Unauthorized Biography: Milo - Death of a Supermodel,” which sics Comedy Central on the fashion industry and its - well, superficialities. This wicked parody premieres tonight at 10 p.m. EST.

In a back-handed tribute to A&E’s “Biography” series, “Unauthorized Biography” tracks the rise and tragic fall of Emma Jean Bagnoll. Here (in the words of self-important host Brian Unger) was “an emaciated girl from a big, square state” who in 1976 took New York by storm as Milo, the world’s first supermodel and, for a moment, at least, the glitterati’s reigning queen.

Make no mistake, Milo wasn’t very nice. “She tried to run me over in my car,” singer Cyndi Lauper recalls on the program.

Nor, as her drug abuse escalated, did she prove to be very reliable, showing up so late for one magazine shoot, according to former model Bebe Buell, “the issue was supposed to be for January and it didn’t hit the stands until March.”

Nor did those who knew her shed many tears when her life was cut short. “I always avoided Milo as much as I could,” says musician-composer Chris Stein, “and now that she’s dead, it’s just easier.”

Not only funny, “Milo - Death of a Supermodel” sustains its understated tone, striking an eerie balance between preposterous and plausible. Which makes it super.

It was conceived by Lizz Winstead, head writer for Comedy Central’s weeknight “Daily Show” and a frequent on-camera contributor who, a few months ago, was on the lookout for an idea for a half-hour special.

“Then I saw a ‘Biography’ of Lance Ito, and I thought, ‘Well, now they’ve hit bottom. They are really grasping at straws.’ And I thought, ‘It’s time for me to come in for the kill.”’ Next Winstead had to fashion a celebrity to skewer. Who better than a fashion model, this unholy alliance of genetics, cosmetics and contortion!

Thus was Milo born.

“I came up with the character,” Winstead explains, “and Kent Jones and Guy Nicolucci wrote the script. Then Jody Morlock created Milo’s makeup and Susan Bauer did the costumes.”

And, oh, by the way, it’s Winstead who, with the help of her associates, portrays the doomed Milo.

What an awesome transformation! During a recent interview, Winstead, back to being herself, is clad in stretch pants and sweat shirt as she bunches on the couch in her “Daily Show” office, chewing gum and being witty. She seems not the least bit like a heroin-chic diva, a fallen idol of the beautiful people.

“I find it offensive that fashion magazines are glorifying what the average woman, for the most part, isn’t,” she begins. “How they have articles that tell you what’s wrong with you, interspersed with advertisements for products that promise to fix it.”

They get you coming and going in this collective con, she observes. Whatever the model is selling (and they’re always selling), it’s the ultimate bait-and-switch: You put your money down somehow expecting to get the model as part of the deal, but you end up only getting yourself.

Meanwhile, models have somehow wangled superstardom, despite performing what, at best, is just a supporting role: “You’re wearing the clothes, but you don’t make the clothes. You’re hanging out at clubs, but you’re not a musician. What are you? You’re a hanger-on. Literally: a hanger!

“And yet we worship them,” says Winstead, flashing an isn’t-thatbizarre smile. “You couldn’t call for help if your apartment was on fire because you don’t know who the person is that lives next door. But you know all the names of the models. ‘Chris-ty Tur-ling-ton!!! Help me!!!”’

Save your breath. She’s busy being beautiful, or something.