You Don’t Get Summers Off In Life

Sun., Sept. 21, 1997

Ann Landers Creators Syndicate

Dear Ann Landers: The enclosed article appeared in the bulletin of our church, SS. Peter and Paul Roman Catholic Church on Detroit’s West Side. I gave a copy to each of my children because I felt it contained an excellent message. Please pass it on to your readers. - W.R.S.

Dear W.R.S.: The straightforward language is sure to appeal to my younger readers. Here it is with my thanks:

Ten Rules Kids Won’t Learn in School

1. Life is not fair. Get used to it. The average teenager uses the phrase “It’s not fair” 86 times a day.

2. The real world won’t care as much about your self-esteem as your school does. This may come as a shock.

3. Sorry, you won’t make $40,000 a year right out of high school. And you won’t be a vice president or have a car phone, either. You may even have to wear a uniform that doesn’t have a designer label.

4. If you think your teacher is tough, wait until you get a boss.

5. Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your grandparents had a different word for burger flipping. They called it opportunity.

6. It’s not your parents’ fault if you mess up. You’re responsible. This is the flip side of “It’s my life” and “You’re not my boss.”

7. Before you were born, your parents weren’t boring. They got that way paying your bills and listening to you.

8. Life is not divided into semesters. And you don’t get summers off. Not even spring break. You are expected to show up every day for eight hours, and you don’t get a new life every 10 weeks.

9. Smoking does not make you look cool. Watch an 11-year-old with a butt in his mouth. That’s what you look like to anyone over 20.

10. Your school may be “outcome-based,” but life isn’t. In some schools, you’re given as many times as you want to get the answer right. Standards are set low enough so everyone can meet them. This, of course, bears not the slightest resemblance to anything in real life - as you will find out.

Good luck. You are going to need it - and the harder you work, the luckier you will get.

Dear Ann Landers: Please pass this tip along to your readers concerning a treatment for headaches - even a migraine.

Peel a banana, take half the banana peel and place it on the forehead with the inside of the peel next to the skin. Secure this with a headband or some strip of cloth. Take the other half, place it on the back of the neck and secure it also. Be sure the banana peels are secured very snugly and the white mushy stuff on the inside of the peel is next to the skin. Eighty-five percent of the people who have tried this say they get relief within 30 minutes.

My great-grandfather, Dr. J.B. Frymire, a graduate of the University of Louisville School of Medicine in 1867, started using the banana peel treatment in the 1890s. Thousands have written me to say it works. - Dick Frymire, doctor of barnyard science, Irvington, Ky.

Dear Dick Frymire: Happily, I rarely get headaches, but those who do may be willing to try this. Please, dear readers, if you are headache-prone, let me know if this works.

xxxx

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