Cheap Seats

Where’s the money, Reg?

Bernie Lincicome in the Chicago Tribune: “Wholly and without reservation, I have decided to accept Reggie White’s apology.

“As was the case with White himself, I speak only for me and not for any group, nor for any others identified by White’s absorbing and ethnic sorting, although I cannot help wishing White had it right about white people being able to tap into money.

“My accountant and heirs would be much relieved.”

Hackers need not apply

So you’re almost 50 and think you can make a killing on the PGA Senior Tour? Senior touring pro Bob Dickson, whose triple-bogey 7 on the fourth hole led to a 2-over 74 and knocked him from contention at a recent Seniors event, offers advice.

“I’ve heard this for years, guys - pretty good players, amateurs - and they’re champing at the bit and can’t wait to turn 50,” Dickson said. “They’ve done well in their businesses and decide to take time off for lessons and to work on their game.”

Dickson said one of his favorite stories involved one such type and teaching pro Tinsley Penick, son of the legendary Harvey Penick.

“The guy came down to Austin for lessons and went to lunch with Tinsley and told him how well he had done in business and that he was ready to devote himself full time to getting ready for the Senior Tour. He was ready to practice, take lessons and do whatever it takes.”

Dickson said Tinsley listened patiently and talked to the fellow a little more, then said, “You know, it’s the darnedest coincidence. We have a member right here at the club who’s your age, 45. He has dedicated himself, too. He’s working on his game to get ready for the Senior Tour. Come on out, and I’ll introduce you to him.”

So, Dickson took the prospective player out and introduced him to Tom Kite.

Rick the Stick, he’s not

Utah coach Rick Majerus one-upped a lot of coaches in the NCAA Tournament then showed his versatility during an appearance on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno.

“I’m not an advertisement for health,” Majerus said, before telling a story of when he was in a Cincinnati hotel shortly after he’d had septuple bypass surgery.

“I didn’t even know how many that was. I had to call one of my players up. He said, ‘It was seven, coach,”’ Majerus said, adding that it was “one for each major food group.”

The last word …

“No wonder the U.S. Olympic hockey team wasn’t invited to the White House. Bust up some furniture in the Lincoln bedroom and no one will want to sleep over any more.”

- Columnist Tom Hoffarth, Los Angeles Daily News