Cheap Seats

Not a triple threat

Arizona Diamondbacks pitcher Andy Benes already has hit a home run, double and single this season, but is not expecting the first career triple that would complete his season cycle.

“The only way I would get it,” Benes said, “is if the center fielder and right fielder collided and both went down and the left fielder had to run over to get it. I’d have a better chance of winning the lottery without a ticket.”

Slow walk to the bank

When Glen Day joined the PGA Tour in 1994, the first thing anybody noticed about him was how slowly he played. That led to his nickname, Glen “All” Day.

Anyway, Day has fast become a money-making machine this year. He is fifth on the money list with $753,806, which is more than Tiger Woods, Fred Couples, Ernie Els, Davis Love III and Phil Mickelson have earned.

In fact, Day has done so well lately - a tie for second place at the Players Championship, a tie for third at New Orleans and a second at Hilton Head, S.C. - he is now 12th in Presidents Cup points.

“That’s not money, just points,” he said. “The IRS is the only one who thinks of it as money.”

Hit and miss

Stan Williams, the new pitching coach of the Seattle Mariners, had a reputation for meanness as a Los Angeles Dodgers pitcher from 1958 to 1962.

Ron Fairly, the Mariners’ broadcaster and a former Dodger, recalled this exchange after a pitch from Williams hit Henry Aaron on the batting helmet: Williams: “Hank, I’m sorry I hit you in the helmet.”

Aaron: “Don’t worry about it. Those things happen.”

Williams: “No, you don’t understand. I was trying to hit you in the neck.”

Defining ugly

Maybe there is something to the bald look. All 12 players on the Charlotte Hornets shaved their heads before their playoff opener against Atlanta. The result: The Hornets defeated a team that had swept them during the regular season.

Center Vlade Divac was the last, and most reluctant, to shave.

“Vlade scared me,” said Charlotte coach Dave Cowens. “He looks like a terrorist. He looks like a villain in a movie I saw one time.”

Guard Dell Curry had a hat on when he went home after getting shaved. When he took the hat off, his daughter jumped out of his arms and hid behind her mother.

New uniforms a dead giveaway

Anaheim Angels manager Terry Collins watched his team lose three of four games to the Tampa Bay Devil Rays last weekend, then denied that there was any shame in losing to the expansion team.

“Take a look at their lineup,” he said. “Fred McGriff, Wade Boggs, Kevin Stocker - where do you want me to stop? They’ve got a nice team. The only thing that makes them an expansion team is they have uniforms nobody has seen before.”

The last word …

“No, sir. You must have been thinking of some other fat redneck.”

- Golfer Glen Day when asked if he once lost a playoff in a tournament shortened to 36 holes.