Cheap Seats

Thanks a million, New York

Reggie Jackson recently resigned from his $100,000 job as special consultant for the New York Yankees, allegedly because he was confronted by the organization concerning $14,000 worth of unauthorized business charges. Not so, he says.

“Listen, if I was going to take money from the Yankees, it would be $14 million, not $14,000,” Jackson said.

Steelers miss the bus

Dirty uniforms, sweaty shoulder pads and a pair of uncomfortable kickers.

That was the baggage Pittsburgh Steelers equipment manager Rodgers Freyvogel had on his 2-hour trip from Pittsburgh airport to the team’s training camp after kicker Norm Johnson and punter Josh Miller missed the team bus following Pittsburgh’s 21-17 exhibition loss to Philadelphia.

They didn’t want to pay a $200 taxi bill, so Johnson and Miller hopped on the back of Freyvogel’s equipment truck.

“We looked like two guys smuggling immigrants from all over the place,” Miller said. “It wasn’t very comfortable lying on helmets and shoulder pads. And it smelled terrible.”

Fatherly advice

Ken Griffey Jr. said his dad wanted him to be a doctor and his brother, Craig, to be a lawyer.

The father’s reasoning:

“In case you (Ken Jr.) get a malpractice suit, your brother can help you out - and he won’t charge you.”

Taking the long way home

When Philadelphia Phillies catcher Mark Parent hit a home run against Arizona, some of the Diamondbacks said that he took too long to circle the bases.

“I wasn’t used to it,” explained Parent, who had not hit a home run since September 1996.

“By the time I got to shortstop, I was exhausted.”

Flunking the passing test

Actor Dennis Quaid has been studying the form of Steve Young of the San Francisco 49ers to prepare himself for a role as left-handed quarterback in a movie called, “Any Given Sunday.”

Asked what he thought of Quaid’s passing style, 49ers coach Steve Mariucci snapped, “He can’t throw a cat out of the house.”

But he was crafty enough to snag Meg Ryan.

Now we know what Earl Woods went through

Troy Stuart knows whatit is to face a media frenzy, and he didn’t even do anything. But his son Matthew made a hole in one on the Fox Ridge course in Vincennes, Ind.

Matthew is 5 years old. Playing for only his fifth time, he aced the 86-yard, par-3 seventh hole, using his driver from the women’s tee.

While Matthew played video games and street hockey the next day, his father was left to deal with the media - newspapers, magazines, TV and radio interviews. The calls started at 6:45 a.m. and followed Stuart to his job.

“All this has been a little bit much for him to comprehend,” Stuart said of his son, who will enter kindergarten in the fall.

The last word …

“Chomping champ Mike Tyson gave New Jersey boxing regulators an angry earful. …”

- From the New York Post, in a story on Mike Tyson’s tantrum at the New Jersey boxing license hearing