Grumpy Old Men On Rise In Spokane

The Slice Institute for Social Research estimates that there are now 16,000 grouchy old men in the Spokane area.

That’s known as critical mass.

* The Inland Northwest’s long reach: Colville’s Pat Laird was in Greece when she spotted a bag of legumes labeled “Oakesdale, Washington - Lentil Capital of the World.”

* How bears treat people in Eastern Washington: Ken and Jackie Noggles of Coulee City were out in the woods near Republic with their 4-year-old granddaughter Dakota.

A friend from Electric City happened by their camp site. He told them that a week before a bear had treed his wife at that spot.

A while later, Dakota asked her grandfather a question. “Pa Pa, did that bear treed that woman good?”

* Speaking of 4-year-olds: Eva May Hendrickson of Garfield, Wash., has a granddaughter named Lilli who has been told that freckles are called “angel kisses.”

Anyway, Lilli’s family just acquired a puppy that has what appear to be freckles on its behind. And, well, Lilli had some questions.

* Found - a public surface lacking graffiti: Spokane’s Corine Brown recently spent three weeks in China. And one of the many things that intrigued her was a sign she saw in the Forbidden City in Beijing.

The sign, near a high wall, included a translation in English. It read: “Writing on the ancient wall is a breach of civility.”

Noting the cleanliness of the area, Brown wondered if such signs really do make a difference.

Perhaps. Though a willingness on the part of the authorities to whale on those committing acts of civil disobedience might play a role.

But such signs probably wouldn’t be all that effective around here anyway. There’s no shortage of people hereabouts who seem to live for a chance to commit a breach of civility.

Still, it might be interesting if Spokane dumped “Lilac City” and started referring to itself as “The Forbidden City of the West.”

* One thing almost as good as toddlers in snowsuits: Those wall of sound ‘60s girl-groups Christmas songs produced by Phil Spector.

* Slice answers: Readers imagining hosting “Northwest Tonight,” a local TV talk show, said they would want their first guest to be, among others, God, a pediatrician, Spokane’s new police chief, a few kids from the East Central neighborhood and this one waitress in the Spokane Valley.

* Today’s Slice question: What Inland Northwest crossroads would be the ideal place for a blues singer to make a deal with the devil?