Fruitcake, Anyone?

Sat., Dec. 5, 1998

By Paul Turner srpaulturner@gmail.com

Been wondering what to get us?

OK, we’ll give you an idea.

The Slice would love to see snapshots that show something symbolizing one of your family’s holiday traditions. It could be a Christmas tree, an ornament, a menorah, a sled, outdoor decoration, a fruitcake - you name it.

Please get your photo and a SASE to us by noon on Dec. 21. And make sure to write down your daytime phone number. Thanks.

Slice answer: Mark Augenstine told about the best intangible gift he has received. “It was my friend Tim Ewert’s life,” he wrote.

They were snowmobiling in Montana last winter when Ewert fell into a gully head-first. He became trapped in deep snow, stopped breathing and lost consciousness.

By the time his friends dug him out, he was blue. But they revived him with CPR. Eventually he was helicoptered to a hospital in Billings.

After a brief stay, he came home to Spokane and is fully recovered.

“We still ride dirt bikes and snowmobiles together and have lots of fun,” wrote Augenstine. “But the best part is watching him with his daughter Hannah.”

How life works: Josh Rasmussen, 13, of Post Falls, says the best way to produce a schools-closing snowfall is to wake up with cold symptoms and get permission to stay home.

Decoding those acronyms scribbled on your memos before they’re kicked back to you:

NGH: “Not gonna happen.”

WD: “Well, duh.”

WMT: “Wasting my time.”

WCITSIYW: “What color is the sky in your world?”

What’s not gets hot: Everything that’s “out” eventually becomes “in” again. So it’s only a matter of time before Spokane’s fashion sense coincides with the national definition of cutting-edge stylishness.

Looking out the picture window: Who has the most spectacularly bad view in the Inland Northwest?

Unfounded merger rumors: Avista and Dick’s Hamburgers.

Sterling Savings and Axel’s Pawn Shop.

Can’t you just see the synergy?

Today’s Slice question: What local population subgroup is most delusional about its influence on the Spokane area’s attitudes and values?

a. Seattle transplants.

b. High school drop-outs with suspended drivers licenses.

c. Gay NRA members.

d. Republican environmentalists.

e. Bored, fat divorced men.

f. Wild-eyed survivalists.

g. Radio talk-show callers.

h. Other.

Local journalism is essential.

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