Whole Notes Sounded More Like Hole Notes
A recent Bonners Ferry High School concert band performance had a few more squeaks and honks than usual. The band, you see, couldn’t concentrate during the large group music festival at Lake City High School in Coeur d’Alene. Just before show time, director Alan Catron had gotten snagged when he’d slipped backstage to test the drums. He reappeared on the podium displaying a bit of thigh through a gaping hole in his pants - nothing lewd, mind you, but enough to distract the clarinetists during their version of “Korean Folk Rhapsody.”
CdA dreamin’
Not all the national publicity we’ve gotten lately focuses on Superfund sites, poverty indexes and Aryans. Dick Wandrocke passed along a May 11 article from Fortune magazine, which mentions a New York gym teacher who took his family on a dream vacation last spring that included stops in South Dakota’s Badlands; Jackson Hole, Wyo.; and Coeur d’Alene. The snooty Eastern media may hate us, but Average Joe doesn’t.
Take no prisoners
CdA’s Jeanne Helstrom didn’t catch the name of the business, but she did see, on the side of a pest-control truck, the list of critters the company claims to exterminate: carpenter ants, fleas, spiders, teenagers, mice and rodents. … After recommending that two subdivision proposals go to public hearings, Kootenai County Commissioner Ron Rankin added: “I just love those public hearings. It gives me a chance to alienate half the audience just before an election.” The other half? … Later, Rankin used the term “harebrained” to describe an attempt by the Kootenai County Senior Coalition to change the county commission from three full-timers to five part-timers. But collecting petition signatures, he said, “gives the senior citizens something to do other than play bingo.” And there goes the third half.
Trashless in Post Falls
Either Post Falls Cleanup Day was a flop or Billboard City is spick-and-span. Only one resident, with a bucket of rocks and cardboard boxes, trekked to the city shop to take advantage of garbage czar Hal Damiano’s offer to haul trash to the dump free of charge. … Editor Jim Ochenkoski of the Rathdrum Reporter says this headline is in his town’s future if it doesn’t learn to plan better: “Cities to merge: Coeur d’Postdrum is born.” Huckleberries prefers Coeur d’Rum Falls. … A “Retain Votava” sign belonging to Bonner County Assessor Paul Votava amused a constituent - or at least a child’s version of the sign was amusing. The youngster interpreted the sign to read, “Retrain Votava” - an option his two opponents are trying to bring to pass.
Huckleberries
Recently, Huckleberries questioned a North Idaho Family Magazine cover photo of a little girl holding up a little perch on a large fishing hook. Huckleberries thought it was a setup. But Grandpa Chuck Adams confirmed that Marie Adams, 6, had used the hook to land her first-ever fish last summer on Lake Coeur d’Alene. Mea culpa. … A sign in a tourist trap at St. Regis, Mont.: “Worm farmers wanted.” Giddyap. … Imagine Mary Raffety’s surprise when she called The Coeur d’Alene Inn to reserve a room for her daughter and was asked: “Is it for prom night?” Mary, who holds old values sacred, stammered that her daughter and son-in-law were traveling from Portland to run in Bloomsday. She still was sputtering Friday when she called Huckleberries. … How far are we behind the times? Depends. The signs that warned last week of downtown street work said, “Men working ahead.” But two of five hard hats there were being worn by women.
Parting shot
Last week, I told you about a doctor’s son who was booted from Coeur d’Alene High School for carrying a miniature Swiss army knife with a 2-inch blade. I exaggerated. The knife had a 1-1/4-inch blade. And the lad was using the scissors to mend a book cover when he was busted. I tremble when I recall the time last year when an English teacher asked my son’s class to bring knives to school to carve pumpkins. There but for the grace of God …