Cheap Seats

A knee for a knee

Colorado Rockies pitcher Darryl Kile, who was hit in the right knee by Mark Lewis’ grounder and had to leave a game early against the Philadelphia Phillies:

“I don’t like people getting hits off my body. I was hoping he’d trip on his way down to first.”

They’re no Angels

Anaheim Angels catcher Matt Walbeck, relievers Mike Holtz and Rich DeLucia, third-base coach Larry Bowa and traveling secretary Tom Taylor attended a taping of “The Jerry Springer Show” Monday, choosing to spend an hour of a gorgeous off day in one of America’s great cities - Chicago - in television’s gutter.

They could have strolled down Michigan Avenue, gone up the Sears Tower, visited the Art Institute of Chicago or even checked out Wrigley Field. But the lure of a Springer segment called “Somebody’s man is messin’ with my man,” was apparently too strong.

“Man, I feel like I need a spiritual cleansing,” Holtz said. “I was just shaking my head the whole time… . That show is definitely not for kids.”

Holtz said “fists were thrown” in three different “love triangle-related” segments, but at least there was no furniture-flinging frenzy.

“My biggest concern was being hit by a chair,” Holtz said. “I could just hear myself saying to Terry (Collins, Angel manager), ‘Uh, Terry, I can’t throw tomorrow because I got hit with a chair on “The Jerry Springer Show.”’ That would go over real well.”

Bowa said he went to the show for the same reason channel surfers pause when they see guests on a talk show pummeling each other. He was curious.

“You see how it is on TV, and I wanted to see what it was like in person,” Bowa said. “It didn’t look staged.”

Said Holtz: “Some of that stuff would be hard to make up.”

Would Holtz go back?

“No, that was a one-time thing for me,” he said. “Just try not to make me look too sick in the paper.”

No more free lunch, pal

Almost two months into Fox Sports’ ownership of the Los Angeles Dodgers, the team’s new chief executive has made a major shakeup that affects every high-ranking person in the organization.

He closed the executive dining room.

The cost-cutting measure ended a Dodgers’ tradition that went back to the franchise’s days in Brooklyn and could save News Corp. at least $200,000 a year on gourmet lunches that often included a choice of three entrees and cracked-crab salad.

The cutback has forced executives like general manager Fred Claire, who are used to lunching on free steak and salmon, to eat like everyone else employed by the club - paying $3 for a Fox-subsidized meal of an entree, soup, salad and soft drink.

“Whether the lunch is a tuna sandwich or a lavish spread, what difference does it make? Our jobs aren’t to eat lunch,” Claire said. “It’s a real bargain. I don’t know where else in this town you can get a lunch like this for $3.”

That’s for sure. Just ask the guy in the bleachers with his $5 hot dog.

The last word …

“New ad slogan the Chicago Cubs should use: ‘We Lost Harry, But We Found Kerry.”’ - Los Angeles Times columnist Mike Downey