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Simply phenomenal

The Washington Post’s Tony Kornheiser, writing about the Chicago Cubs’ Kerry Wood:

“We like phenoms. We need phenoms kids who come out of nowhere and set the world on its ear. They reassure us of the marvel of possibility. They remind us of days of wonder, before we had the Internet, before we knew everything.”

Give her an Oscar

After sprint sensation Marion Jones ran the 100 meters in 10.71 seconds Tuesday, track and field promoter Al Franken conjured up another result to the dramatic race depicted in the classic film, “Chariots of Fire.”

He calculates Jones would have won the men’s 100 at the 1924 Paris Olympics, the race featured in the film.

“Harold Abrahams of England won the race in 10.6 seconds, but that was a hand-timed race,” Franken said.

“Most experts feel electronically timed races (as Jones’ 10.71 was) are up to two-tenths of a second slower than hand-timed races. She would have beaten Abrahams.”

Something younger readers can relate to

Boston Red Sox catcher Jason Varitek, describing pitcher Tim Wakefield’s pitches last Sunday when he held the Royals hitless for 6 innings in Kansas City:

“His knuckleball was outstanding. It was going left, it was going right. It was going up, it was going down. He was able to throw the slow one, the medium one and the hard one for strikes.

“It’s like (the video game) Nintendo RBI. Have you seen the changeup on that thing? That’s what hitting a knuckleball is like.”

Can he hit the broad side of a barn, too?

American Brian Watts was barred Thursday from next fall’s Japan Open because he deliberately twice hit a ball toward the ocean in a tournament last week.

Masatoshi Hirose, a spokesman for the Japan Golf Association, said the ruling was in response to Watts’ “unsportsmanlike” conduct during the second round of the Fujisankei Classic. Watts failed to qualify for the last two rounds, falling three strokes shy of the cutoff.

It was reported at the time by Kyodo, the Japanese news service, that Watts had hit the ball toward the ocean on two holes in a deliberate attempt to miss the cut because he was frustrated with his poor play.

Watts apologized and was fined just under $1,500 at the time.

Maybe he was practicing for Pebble Beach.

Practice makes perfect

What pitcher has given up the most home runs to Mark McGwire?

No contest. It’s Dave McKay, McGwire’s favorite batting-practice pitcher for the last 10 years.

He figures he has served up about 8,000 gopher balls to McGwire.

Muscles, muscles, muscles

Broadcaster Jon Miller described in a book a conversation with Mark McGwire about why there were so many home runs these days.

“Here’s the answer,” said McGwire, raising his right arm and flexing. Miller: “I’ll never forget that flex. His biceps looked like a high-rise condominium.”

The last word …

“These kids listen to me. Unlike my own kids.”

- Florida Marlins outfielder Jim Eisenreich (who has been traded to the Dodgers) on working with Florida’s younger players.