Cheap Seats
Maybe he hit a wet one
Chicago Cubs first baseman Mark Grace became the first player to hit a ball into the swimming pool beyond right-center field at the new Bank One Ballpark in Arizona on Tuesday.
“I’ve hit many balls into the drink in my time,” Grace said. “It’s usually with 7-irons and 5-irons. I guess they can call me ‘Tin Cup.’ “
Next stop, the anti-defamation league
The Washington Post’s Thomas Boswell unloaded on Chris Webber, traded last week by the Washington Wizards to the Sacramento Kings for Mitch Richmond and Otis Thorpe in a big NBA deal:
“You can be 6-feet-10 and movie-star handsome with world class athletic talent and a $57-million contract.
“You can have a prep school education, two years at Michigan, a solid family background and everybody in Washington on your side - ready to cut you 100 yards of slack.
“And in just four years, you can screw it up so badly that people are tickled to hear you’ve been kicked out of town in exchange for a couple of veterans who, at best, constitute 80 cents on the dollar.”
There may be holes in this theory
A University of Iowa statistics professor calculated the odds of getting two holes in one in the same 18-hole round at 363,000,000 to 1.
Yet that’s what Christian Owen did May 11 at the University of Iowa golf course. He aced the 192-yard eighth and the 188-yard 13th holes.
Owen, an assistant grocery store manager who is a near-scratch golfer, also had two eagles on the front nine. He shot a 69.
Owen also had a hole in one on the eighth hole three weeks ago.
Discrimination in hiring
The ABL’s Long Beach StingRays had the league’s worst attendance last season.
No surprise, then, to spot this ad for a sales and marketing director in the Sports Business Daily newsletter:
“Excellent opportunity for young executive who wants to call his or her own shots. NBA, MLB, CBA, IHL and minor league baseball account executives encouraged to apply.”
Get the message, you NFL people?
No, she didn’t bring recipes
Another sports gender barrier has fallen. There are other woman matadors in Spain, but only one, Cristina Sanchez, has appeared in Madrid’s renowned Las Ventas bullring, which she did Tuesday.
Team guy of the month
Donyell Marshall, eager to have something tangible to show for his best NBA season, was disappointed he didn’t win the league’s Most Improved Player award. How much did he want it? The former UConn star hired a public relations firm to tout his qualifications, but he finished third behind Atlanta’s Alan Henderson and Corliss Williamson of Sacramento.
Marshall averaged 15.4 points and 8.6 rebounds for the Golden State Warriors, double his stats for the previous season. Marshall played in 73 games, but missed the final six when he broke a rib after being kneed by Karl Malone.
The Mailman delivers, but not awards.
The last word …
“They just looked like they were real hitterish.”
- Bret Saberhagen, explaining why the Twins beat him Wednesday when he had his best stuff of the season.