Dreams Tend To Exaggerate Changes

I recently received a bundle of letters from 11- and 12-year-olds. For a classroom project, each student submitted a dream. The students all seemed curious to explore their nighttime adventures, even though many were frightening or terribly sad. Here’s one dream:

Dear Nancy: My name is Edward and I’m 12 years old.

In my dream there’s a truck on the side of the road. As I walk by an old man pops out and I ask, “Where is everyone?” He tells me the world has come to an end. I ask, “Then why are we still here?” Instead of answering me, he hits me over the head. I grab his leg and it falls off and then I get hit by a car. I black out and when I wake up, I’m sitting in a wheelchair at the top of some stairs. I turn around and see the same man as he pushes me down the stairs.

Dear Edward: I don’t know what was happening in your life at the time of this dream, but I do know that dreams about the end of the world can apply to changes in our lives. When things we’ve always had in our lives change or die, it’s an end of the world as we know it.

Did the man remind you of anyone you know? Did you recognize the truck? Is there anyone you’re afraid of?

You defended yourself in the dream which shows courage and strength. Do you need to defend yourself in your waking life?

It’s important to remember dreams tend to exaggerate our feelings so we will “get the message.” This “end of the world” could be about something unsettling, such as moving to a new neighborhood, changing friends or losing a pet.

Do you believe the world will end? Often, movies, conversations and video games depict a world that has been destroyed. Your dream may be a reflection of this.

Remember, Edward, only the dreamer knows the meaning of his dream.

If you see this old man in a dream again, either make friends with him or call on help to capture him. Good luck.

Tips

One of the easiest and most fun ways to develop a close relationship with our children is to have a regular dream-sharing time. A perfect time is around the breakfast table, when dreams are fresh and the day’s activities haven’t yet taken over our thoughts.

Each person can share a dream, adding to the day’s adventures and fostering mutual care and trust.

Allow the dream its place at the table as if it’s an honored guest. Don’t negate disturbing dreams by saying, “You shouldn’t feel upset. It’s only a dream!”

Children need to know they can safely share their inner world, without criticism or fear of ridicule.

After a particularly distressing nightmare, a child may be anxious and insecure and sometimes will be afraid to sleep for days. Dream sharing can give them the opportunity to get the dream outside of themselves and put it into an arena that feels safe, where the family can be comforting allies for the child.

Using imagination and role-playing, a child can practice defending himself, calling on his magical powers and turning tragedies into triumphs.