Cheap Seats

Or you can go to a Rams game

On page 62 of the Alaska Airlines magazine, under the heading of “Things to do in Los Angeles,” the Raiders are listed. The National Football League team, of course, hasn’t played in L.A. since moving 400 miles north to Oakland after the 1994 season.

In the hall of misplaced priorities

Prepare for a crash: It’s not the stock market, but holders of untorn tickets for Mark McGwire’s historic games are going to feel like it’s 1929.

The St. Louis Cardinals have issued season ticket holders exact duplicates of their tickets for the games at which McGwire broke Roger Maris’ record with 62 home runs on Sept. 8 and set the record with 70 on Sept. 27.

The real untorn tickets were considered a rarity and had been selling through trade publications and on-line auctions for between $200 and $450 each. There are no identifying marks to distinguish the original tickets from the duplicates.

“This is an absolute disaster,” said Holger Danielsen, a dealer in sports memorabilia in O’Fallon, Ill. “This is going to destroy any market there is for these tickets… . They’ve got a major moron working down there.”

Now ain’t that a lowdown rotten shame.

Meltdown in the front office

Brian O’Neill in the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette: “Penguins tickets cost $20-$70. Yet the team is broke. That has to be a more difficult feat on an ice rink than the triple axel.”

Gimme some of that old-time hindsight

The ball that went through the legs of Boston Red Sox first baseman Bill Buckner, allowing the New York Mets to score the winning run in Game 6 of the 1986 World Series, was bought at auction by actor Charlie Sheen for $93,000.

Said Buckner, a former Spokane Indians outfielder who now lives near Boise: “If I knew it was worth that much after I missed it, I would have run after it.”

Be the first on your block

Tom FitzGerald of the San Francisco Chronicle noticed an ad in TV Guide for an 8x6-inch porcelain replica of Candlestick Park - now known as 3Com Park - that can be had for $47.50, plus sales tax, shipping and handling charges.

He wrote:

“The Giants and 49ers, who are dying to ditch the place, might enjoy this statement in the ad: ‘Candlestick Park will be admired by all who see it.’ Like the Titanic, the Hindenburg and the Bridge on the River Kwai.”

Does this model come with its own wind tunnel?

A piece of major trivia

Blackie Sherrod in the Dallas Morning News: “When baseball immortal Ted Williams was recalled as a Marine fighter pilot for Korea duty, his squadron commander at the time was a major named John Glenn, whom you may have noticed in the news lately.”

The last word …

“The new arrangement includes a weekly allowance, provided Mom and Dad keep their rooms clean.”

- Comedy writer Alan Ray, on teenage gymnast Dominique Moceanu’s settlement with her parents