Lesson One: Bus Pulls In, You Get On

It’s clear the parents in question weren’t up to the job.

And nobody listens to teachers and pastors anymore. So the task of instructing young people how to act in public has fallen to bus drivers.

Here’s the scenario, played out over and over at the STA Plaza.

A bus pulls in and the passengers get off. Then outbound riders climb aboard and find a seat.

Except there’s always one kid who pushes it. Instead of getting on the bus like everybody else, he continues to stand outside and engage in pointless posturing with his friends. You know, smoking, hanging out and generally trying to look like a foul-mouthed music-video underachiever who takes his fashion cues from role models currently on probation.

So eventually, it’s time for the bus to leave. The driver shuts the door and eases out into traffic.

Then, and only then, the kid who regards loitering as an art form runs up and slaps a hand on the bus door, demanding to be admitted. “Hey!” the kid yells, as if being denied his constitutionally protected right to be stupid. “Let me on!”

But inasmuch as the bus is already in motion and there’s a schedule to keep, the driver can’t very well stop out in the middle of the street. So the kid is left to get all pouty and play the role of the wronged party. And wait for the next bus.

Another innocent unfairly hassled by the man, or a self-impressed loser desperately in need of a therapeutic butt-kicking who got what he richly deserved? You make the call.

Anyway, from the vantage of a spectator, it’s all rather entertaining. And it looks a lot like justice.

One can just hope that, when the kid gives the driver the finger, he sees his reflection.

It should be noted that drivers seem willing to cut late-arriving riders some slack when it’s clear they have been hurrying. For the benefit of those people, stopping a few feet away from the curb and opening the doors is no problem.

But the attitude-addled kid standing around outside the bus for five minutes, well, that self-absorbed young scholar gets a “See ya later” look and a mouthful of exhaust.

OK, it’s a small lesson. And only an insane optimist would assume much of it sinks in. But it is a lesson nonetheless: Society has rules. If everyone cuts corners or expects special treatment, public life will become even more unmanageable than it already is.

Swaggering self-esteem and 75 cents will get you a one-way fare.

Too bad those kids probably can’t see that, if they don’t wise up, the bus door slamming shut is a metaphor for their future.

* Today’s Slice question: How many “at the lake” people make a point of not keeping up with the news?