Cheap Seats
Patience, Packers fans
According to the Green Bay Packers, they have just about 50,000 names on the waiting list for season tickets and only seven moved off those rolls to become ticket-holders this season. At that rate, it will take more than 7,000 years for the last person on the list to get a ticket.
Sweet Lou knows no limits
New South Carolina football coach Lou Holtz has never been accused of lacking confidence.
“Somebody said Rome wasn’t built in a day,” he said after accepting the job of reviving Gamecocks football. “I’d like to think that’s because I wasn’t born yet.”
Auto racing comes to Chicago
Big-time auto racing came to Chicago last Sunday in the form of the CART Cicero 225 at the Chicago Motor Speedway. More importantly, for the Cheap Seats, however, it gave Chicago columnist Bernie Lincicome another target. Here’s a sampling:
“The body count being a reassuring zero for the Cicero 225 car race, you have to declare that the appearance of big-time, open-wheel auto racing in Chicago was a success.”
“… the auto racing folks really are anxious to keep Chicago’s interest. We are the `largest untapped motorsports market’ left, I saw in a press release. Chicago is a town that has not had auto racing for decades, not counting rush hour, of course.”
“The official name of the race is not the Cicero 225, but I am going to try to write this without referring to any of the commercial endorsements that festoon motorsports. This is quite a challenge, like trying to describe a toad without mentioning the warts.
“The actual race distance is not 225 miles, but slightly more. I’m not about to try to explain auto racing math, but the distance fits nicely into two hours of television, determined to be about as much as anybody wants of loud left turns.”
CART provides inspiration
Lincicome was most fascinated by the fact that the winning race team, as well as the third-place team, and the sponsor of the race were all one and the same.
“This certainly has a proud Chicago feel to it,” wrote Lincicome. “Who bothers to actually count the votes when the winner has already given his acceptance speech?
“This is, I believe, a concept the Cubs could use. Start their own playoffs and play them in their own park and give themselves their own trophy.”
Touchy, touchy
Things are getting a little tense in San Francisco. Just a few weeks ago the Giants were battling the Diamondbacks in the N.L. West. Now, the D-Backs own an eight-game lead.
When reporters asked San Francisco GM Brian Sabean why a recent pitching assignment was listed as “undecided,” Sabean erupted.
“It’s our business,” he snapped. “We have no obligation to you, the public or anybody, but to do our business. So undecided is undecided. I’m sure you guys have your own suppositions, so write your suppositions.”
OK. Suppose you’ll be back next season?
The last word …
“I’m never going to do that again.”
- Carol Sing, 57, a retired swimming coach from El Cajon, Calif., after suffering from cold, seasickness and jellyfish stings while swimming from England to France in 12 hours, 32 minutes.