Wouldn’T A Guy Need More Than Two Hands To Pull That Off?

There, in a men’s room on the mezzanine at the Ridpath Hotel, was evidence that cell phones really have gotten out of control.

No, it’s not what you’re thinking. No one else was in there.

But scribbled on the tile wall above one of the porcelain facilities was some 1999-style graffiti.

Instead of the usual brainless vulgarisms or “For a good time…,” there were some indecipherable numbers and letters.

It was either map coordinates or a commodities exchange buy-order. And it seemed pretty clear that it had been written on the wall by someone who had been standing there and talking on a phone while conducting other, uh, business.

Sometimes progress isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.

Zucchini season: A North Idaho reader named Joyce faxed in a reminder that it’s time to start locking your car doors to avoid receiving surprise vegetable gifts.

Could have been worse: Jack O’Brien heard a Spokane TV newscaster get tongue-tied and say “shite and briney” instead of “shiney and bright.”

Eleven Secrets of Successful Spokanians:

1. Not getting defensive when someone puts down Spokane.

2. Avoid Division.

3. Vitamin E.

4. Weed and Feed.

5. Dry tents before storing.

6. Comfortable bras.

7. Return calls.

8. Take ear aches seriously.

9. Look both ways. Twice.

10. Floss.

11. Be Betsy Weigle’s friend.

Slice answer: How many need-to-get items can Bill Hudson remember at the grocery store without a list?

“One short of the actual number needed.”

Sounds like an urban legend: But we heard about a newcomer who supposedly misheard and thought it was “Duane Allman’s Tires.”

Rock on.

By the numbers: Wellpinit’s Rhonda Flett has a friend whose driver’s license expires on 01/01/01.

Telltale signs of deskmate co-dependency:

1. You regard one another’s flattery as objective appraisals of job performance.

2. You instinctively low-talk when conversing with that person.

3. Others refer to you and your deskmate as “those two.”

4. You have forgotten that giggling gets on people’s nerves.

Today’s Slice question: What would it take to get you to check out the Spokane Interstate Fair?