Those Seats Might Really Soar In 3-D
Ten … nine … eight …
Many if not most of the seats at the Lyons Avenue cinemas appear designed to help the moviegoer involuntarily simulate the experience of reclining in an astronaut’s chair in a Mercury space capsule.
* No comment: First-grader Cheyanne Mauro thought the Monday holiday noted Michael Jordan King Junior’s birthday.
* Fill in the blanks: “Here at (insert name of your business here), the customer is always ( ).”
* Here are a few of Mark Jackson’s ideas for road signs that would greet anyone entering Spokane:
“You Are Here.”
“Left Lane Restriction: 2 Gun Racks Required.”
“Entering Spokane — No Tie or Jacket Required.”
“Entering Spokane — No Shirt, No Shoes, No Problem!”
* The assumption that we are all idiots: What’s your favorite warning label message or product disclaimer?
* The secret to keeping track of who in your extended family is not speaking to whom: “In our family, the answer is simple,” wrote Char Dauterman. “Ask Grandma.”
* Still more “Entering Spokane” road signs: “Enter at Your Own Risk: Not Responsible for Lost Minds.” — Elizabeth Jacobs
“Warning: Infrastructure is Disintegrating.” — Jim Clayton
“It’s Not What You Know, It’s Who You Know.” — Carolyn Cosby
“Welcome to Spokane: Minimum Wage Capital of the U.S.” — Bill Cafolla
“We’re Still Dealing With Our Y1K Problem.” — Bill Boaz
“Warning: Entering Area of Public Censure and Nonacceptance of Alternative Philosophies and Lifestyles.” — Ines Wynn
* High five: 1. What did you find in the couch after your party?
2. We’ve repeatedly made fun of people wearing sunglasses as an affectation. But in certain circumstances, putting on a pair can relax about 75 muscles in your face.
3. Twice in five years now, Lynn Everson has been bombed by birds while standing on the same Spokane street corner. What are the odds?
4. The urge to have fun pronouncing French words ending in “ment” is powerful.
5. You are not the first to look for a key on your computer keyboard and then remember that the function in question is actually something found on your TV remote control.
* Today’s Slice question: What’s a good use for those plastic bags that keep home-delivered copies of the Swell Paper dry?