Cheap Seats

If they only knew

Tampa Bay Devil Rays closer Robert Hernandez, on what it’s like to get the final batters when he doesn’t have his best stuff: “I walk off the mound and think, `Sucker.”’

The times, they are a changin’

From the Gallery column of the Dallas Morning News: “Somebody put Byron Nelson’s 11 tournament winning streak on a computer and concluded that Nelson, who won 14.5 percent of total PGA purses in 1945, would have won more than $19 million at today’s prices.

“Instead, he got $49,601 in cash and war bonds.”

Remember falling behind 2-0

Before the San Antonio-New York NBA Finals began, Mario Elie of the Spurs was quoted as saying: “Not disrespecting the Knicks, but this is probably the weakest team we’re going to play in the playoffs.”

The New York tabloids jumped on his quote, including this headline in the New York Post: “REMEMBER THE ELIE-MO!”

Scoreboard, baby.

They must be in the front row

Ron Rapoport in the Chicago Sun-Times: “The New York Post says scalpers are getting - hold on to your wallets - $4,000 each for the best seats at Madison Square Garden. In San Antonio, by comparison, comparable seats will set you back a mere $1,250.”

With the Knicks behind 2-0, we think the price might be coming down.

Pure genius

Bernie Lincicome in the Chicago Tribune: “I will make this prediction: (Shaquille) O’Neal will become a better free-throw shooter with (Phil) Jackson as coach.

“Why? Because Jackson will find a way to ease O’Neal’s mind, make O’Neal see that failure and success are all part of the same circle. You know, that Zen stuff.”

Here’s a hint: High and straight.

Piece of cake

The best record for a first-year Lakers coach was established by Bill Sharman during the 1971-72 season.

The Lakers won 33 consecutive games, still a league record, and had a regular-season record of 69-13, an NBA record at the time. It was broken by Jackson’s Chicago Bulls in the 1995-96 season with 72 wins.

And he was wearing short shorts

Gar Heard, the new Washington Wizards coach, is known for his last-second shot for Phoenix against Boston in the 1976 NBA Finals that extended the game into a third overtime - “The Gar Heard ‘Round the World.”

The Celtics won, however, 128-126, and went on to win the series, 4-2.

The last word …

“Pocono is not one of my favorite places to race. The track is three straightaways of sheer boredom and three turns of sheer fear.”

- Ken Schrader, one of the top drivers who’ll compete in the Winston Cup race today at Pocono, Pa.