Cheap Seats

They have uniform goals

Seattle Mariners pitching coach Stan Williams on Jeff Fassero’s uniform number 13: “That was his number last year, and he won 13 games. We expect more from him this season, so we’re changing his number to 22,” Williams said.

Then Williams spotted Jamie Moyer No. 50 and deadpanned, “We’re expecting a lot more from Jamie.”

Oh, Brothers

Trips to the free-throw line have become an adventure for Vin Baker.

So take a trip to the beach, advised Dr. Joyce Brothers.

The Seattle SuperSonics’ four-time All-Star is shooting in the neighborhood of 10 to 15 percent from the free-throw line this season, by far the worst in the NBA.

While he’s never been a great foul shooter, averaging 62 percent during his five years in the league, this season has been a nightmare.

“I would ask him for a place where he’s been when he felt warm, comfortable and safe. A beach, maybe,” Brothers said. “He should go to that place in his mind when he’s about to take a free throw and not think about what he’s doing.”

At this point, Baker needs to try something. He started the season missing his first 18 attempts from the line.

Just a flying water cooler chat

Texas Christian women’s basketball coach Mike Petersen - the former Gonzaga University coach - lists himself as day-to-day with a possible broken left hand.

Because of his hand, though, TCU stayed alive to play another day.

Prompted by a fiery halftime speech by Petersen, that included a flying water cooler and a dry-erase board-turned punching bag, TCU overcame an 11-point halftime deficit en route to a 67-58 victory against Texas-El Paso in the first round of the Western Athletic Conference tournament on Monday.

“I don’t think I’ll ever forget that halftime speech,” Horned Frogs guard Jill Sutton said. “I remember a water bottle flying past my head.”

Petersen thought that TCU would be willing to spring for another water cooler and dry-erase board, a small price to pay for the first post-season victory as a Division I school.

He went for X-rays immediately following his post-game radio duties.

A valentine to Russ and Joey

Heathcliffe Slocumb said his Baltimore Orioles teammate, fellow reliever Mike Timlin, used to speculate on playing at Camden Yards when the two were still with the Seattle Mariners last season.

“We used to walk across the field and look at Baltimore practicing and we’d say, `Can you imagine how much success we’d have if we had this infield behind us?”’

Or if you’d saved some games when it mattered?

Fame is still fleeting

Former football coach Danny Ford is among those being considered by Democrats to make a run for Congress next year against Rep. Lindsey Graham (R-S.C.), one of the House managers in President Clinton’s impeachment trial.

Ford coached Clemson to a national title in 1981. Then, after five years at Arkansas, Ford tried unsuccessfully to get his Clemson job back last year.

“If Clemson didn’t want him, I don’t know why the voters of the 3rd District would,” said Trey Walker, executive director of the state Republican party.

The last word …

“I think more than anything else in the sad, tragic life of Mike Tyson, the recent incident where he angrily threw a television set in the Montgomery County (Md.) Detention Center speaks volumes about the dearth of quality network programming on Saturday night.” - Michael Ventre of MSNBC