Love Vs. War The Battle Between Top Nominees ‘Shakespeare In Love’ And ‘Saving Private Ryan’ Are Just Two Of The Oscar Dramas To Watch Tonight

Imagine what it’s like.

You’re sitting there tonight in the audience of the Dorothy Chandler Pavilion, dressed up in your Ralph Lauren tux or Donna Karan gown squeezing your Oscar program as if it were the neck of an IRS agent.

It’s the Academy Awards and you can’t quite believe where you are. It hasn’t been that long since you were still on the movie set, splitting time between your RV and the shooting site, arguing with your agent on a cell phone or suffering halogen lamp-burn while doing one or more of the following:

* Trying to remember your lines.

* Figuring out how to mask the glare off your lead actor’s bald spot.

* Wondering whether you’ll be able to give your lead actress’ whiny voice a boost.

* Hoping the moronic director shoots enough footage so you can edit the scene into something comprehensible.

* Hoping you’ve planned well enough to overcome the incompetent help that all directors have to endure.

But now you’re here, one of five nominees waiting for someone — oh, please, let it be Uma Thurman — to announce to the world that you’re the best of the best in this 71st Academy Award fest.

In such a setting it would be hard, don’t you think, to lose graciously? To politely applaud as your competitor saunters to the stage, thanking everyone — even you, of all the gall — for helping him/her take home the gold?

Sometimes the best acting takes place during those very moments. Sometimes it does not (think of grim-faced Lauren Bacall, losing out two years ago to Juliette Binoche).

The suspense surrounding who will win and how everyone else will respond is one of the main reasons many of us love to watch awards shows (that and the chance to see, say, the likes of Rob Lowe warbling with a faux Snow White).

That goes whether we’re talking about the MTV Movie Awards, the Golden Globe Awards or the annual Academy Awards broadcast, whose prize - the Oscar - is the most coveted film honor of all.

Forget that the MTV and Golden Globes shows are more entertaining to watch, it’s the Oscar moments that we remember.

And whether it’s Jane Fonda (“Coming Home”) signing her thanks to the hearing impaired or Simone Signoret (“Room at the Top”) gripping her breasts in exultation, Jack Palance (“City Slickers”) doing one-handed pushups or Tom Hanks (“Philadelphia”) thanking his gay high school teacher, it’s the human response, as regularly displayed by Hollywood royalty, that intrigues us the most.

This year, the suspense works out this way:

Best Actor

The nominees: Roberto Benigni, “Life Is Beautiful”; Tom Hanks, “Saving Private Ryan”; Ian McKellen, “Gods and Monsters”; Nick Nolte, “Affliction”; Edward Norton, “American History X.”

Benigni won the Screen Actor’s Guild award, Hanks is an industry favorite, McKellan is the classically trained English stage star, Nolte is a one-time hunk who has become a fine character actor and Norton is the next big thing.

S-R Readers’ pick (taken from the S-R’s annual Oscar contest, which had 750 entrants): Hanks.

Webster’s pick: McKellan.

Who will give the most entertaining reaction: Always the clown, Benigni - his mother calls him Robertino - will provide this night of ersatz solemnity a much-needed boost. Always the nice guy, Hanks will make the most gracious loser.

Best Actress

The nominees: Cate Blanchett, “Elizabeth”; Fernanda Montenegro, “Central Station”; Gwyneth Paltrow, “Shakespeare in Love”; Meryl Streep, “One True Thing”; Emily Watson, “Hilary and Jackie.”

Australian Blanchett and the English Watson (“Breaking the Waves”) are the British-accented imports, Brazilian Montenegro and American Streep are the international veterans and Paltrow is the Hollywood darling.

S-R readers’ pick: Paltrow.

Webster’s pick: Blanchett.

Who will give the most entertaining reaction: It’s a tie as to who would make the more luminous winner, Blanchett or Platrow. But Gwyneth’s Hollywood pedigree of privilege (Dad is producer Bruce Paltrow, Mom is actress Blythe Danner) sets her up to be the most miffed loser.

Best Supporting Actor

The nominees: James Coburn, “Affliction”; Robert Duvall, “A Civil Action”; Ed Harris, “The Truman Show”; Geoffrey Rush, “Shakespeare in Love”; Billy Bob Thornton, “A Simple Plan.”

Flashy Coburn is enjoying his second career, dependable Duvall continues strongly in his first, solid Harris finally isn’t being overlooked, former Best Actor Rush (“Shine”) shows his comic side and Thornton once again demonstrates how subtlety can survive makeup.

S-R readers’ pick: Duvall.

Webster’s pick: Harris.

Who will give the most entertaining reaction: Either Coburn or Thornton (a past winner for writing the screenplay to “Sling Blade”) would deliver the most fun-to-watch thank-yous. On the other hand, neither seems like a particularly good loser.

Best Supporting Actress

The nominees: Kathy Bates, “Primary Colors”; Brenda Blethyn, “Little Voice”; Judi Dench, “Shakespeare in Love”; Rachel Griffiths, “Hilary and Jackie”; Lynn Redgrave, “Gods and Monsters.”

Bates and Griffiths boast the biggest parts, Dench did the most with the smallest, while Blethyn and Redgrave mostly hammed it up in little-seen movies.

S-R readers’ pick: Bates.

Webster’s pick: Dench.

Who will give the most entertaining reaction: Hams tend to serve up the best public exhibitions, so Blethyn and Redgrave earn co-honors here. Assuming she even shows up, stately Dench, in contrast, is likely to prove as energizing as a decaf latte.

Best Director

The nominees: Roberto Benigni, “Life Is Beautiful”; Steven Spielberg, “Saving Private Ryan”; John Madden, “Shakespeare in Love”; Terrence Malick, “The Thin Red Line”; Peter Weir, “The Truman Show.”

Benigni is the Chaplinesque comic, Malick is the “genius,” Weir is the respected auteur, Madden is the talented newcomer and Spielberg is … well, he’s Spielberg.

S-R readers’ pick: Spielberg.

Webster’s pick: Spielberg.

Who will give the most entertaining reaction: Should he win, Spielberg is likely to ramble on as he’s done in the past (which is why he’s better behind the camera than in front of it). The reclusive Malick probably won’t even show. Win or lose, Benigni is likely to jounce and bounce and bubble the night away.

Best Picture

The nominees: “Elizabeth,” “Life Is Beautiful,” “Saving Private Ryan,” “Shakespeare in Love,” “The Thin Red Line.”

“Elizabeth” is Elizabethan drama, “Shakespeare in Love” is Elizabethan comedy, “Life is Beautiful” is World War II comedydrama, “Saving Private Ryan” and “The Thin Red Line” are World War II drama pure and simple.

S-R readers’ pick: “Saving Private Ryan.”

Webster’s pick: “Saving Private Ryan.”

Who will give the most entertaining reaction: The most fitting end to this long evening, the last Oscar broadcast of the 20th century, would be a final salute to those who lived through World War II. This is a natural stage for Spielberg.

Maybe he’ll let little Robertino speak for him.