Cougars Games Should Be A Lot Easier On Ears

My favorite part of Washington State football on the radio has always been Bob Robertson’s signature closing of “Be a good sport, all ways” - as Paul Sorensen’s howl for the blood of the referee echoed in the background.

Like moonshine, however, irony is not meant to be ingested by the gallon.

And so it came to pass this week that Sorensen evolved into the ex-color commentator of Wazzu football - his employer at Broadcast Ink, David Iverson, pulling the plug on him for the second time in five years.

As you might expect, he did not evolve quietly.

“I was told he wanted to go in another direction,” Sorensen said. “Now what does that mean exactly?”

Good question. So we posed it to Iverson.

“To be honest, I don’t know,” Iverson admitted. “There are a lot of possibilities out there.”

And only one he couldn’t live with any more.

“We just want to see if there’s a different way to do it,” Iverson said.

Well, sure there is - but it’s sort of like imagining “The Beverly Hillbillies” without Jethro.

The Sorensen Shtick has grown on some true Cougs like a friendly fungus and on others like a boil, and rather than regret the lack of a middle ground Sorensen actually seems to revel in it - which may have been part of the problem.

I don’t spend much time in Tuscaloosa or South Bend, but it’s hard to imagine that gassing the color guy would engender much repartee in any other college football outpost.

At some places, that may be a fan’s choice. Heck, Buffy and Chipper in their Huskies purple can do a half hour on the relative merits of a ‘96 Merlot and a ‘97, but they wouldn’t know Chuck Nelson from Chuck Knox.

At Wazzu, you may not want to get caught up in the Pro Paul-No Paul debate, but it’s almost impossible not to - so compelling, or repellent, is the product.

“There is always going to be feedback on Paul,” said Iverson, “just by the nature of what he does and who he is.”

That’s difficult to explain to a non-Coug. Let’s put it this way: If Bob Robertson is the fan swaddled in his moth-eaten letter sweater from the Jim Sutherland era, Sorensen is the one wearing nothing but Wazzu boxer shorts and a coat of body paint.

Hard to believe, but the school that gave you Ed Murrow and Keith Jackson gave you Paul Sorensen, as well.

“I’m not going to be told what to say and when I need to say it,” offered Sorensen. “I call ‘em as I see ‘em and, yeah, I’m going to be emotional and excitable. But I think I’ve been a good complement to Bob, who’s the best in the business at giving you the nuts and bolts.

“Hey, I know when I first started doing this 14 years ago I was horrible. I didn’t know what I was doing. But I know darned good and well I’m a lot better now.”

Unfortunately, this was not an opinion shared by the man who counted - though Iverson tried to be delicate about it.

“Truthfully, the less said the better,” said Iverson, trying to forestall a long explanation and managing to explain it all in a single sentence.

The concept that less can be more is something that Sorensen, said Iverson, never seemed to grasp.

“He was not about to be somebody he was not, and that’s to his credit,” Iverson said. “The key thing to us is, we think we’ve got a play-by-play guy who’s among the best in college football and we’d like to hear more of him and less of the analyst.”

Particularly when the analyst’s shrieks are drowning out the main man’s call of the winning touchdown.

“Paul has a lot of insight into the game, no question,” Iverson said. “When he stuck with analyzing the play on the field, he did a fabulous job. It’s the other stuff that becomes an issue.”

It’s one thing to wear your heart on your sleeve, as Sorensen does, and another to get it all over everyone else’s sleeves.

That said, I miss him already. Almost.

Hey, the guy was worth a dozen zingers a year, easy. It’s going to be like Jay Leno going through Dan Quayle withdrawal.

Radio color commentary in college football almost inevitably falls between dull and dreadful, and Sorensen at least was never both. Non-Cougs complained about his blatant homerism, but the fact is he was such a homer that on occasion he took poor play as a personal affront - not surprising given the ardor with which he wore the uniform.

This is something you won’t hear in the next guy.

And just who will the next guy be?

I’m pitching Jim Walden, though having two Waldens on the radio within 100 miles of each other - son Murray works Eastern Washington games - might be some sort of FCC violation.

It also might vary from Iverson’s less-is-more policy.

“Oh, a lot of talk isn’t bad,” he said, “as long it’s somebody with something to say.”

There are other obvious possibilities raised by both Iverson and his ex - Jack Thompson, Rueben Mayes, Mark Rypien, Cougar legends all. In the dark horse division, Iverson gushed over former Cougar wide receiver Shawn McWashington, who did some radio work on last year’s high school Gridiron Classic - but he’s still playing in NFL Europe.

And Iverson acknowledged the possibility of a non-football sidekick - and acknowledged that it would likely be Bud Nameck, Robertson’s “probable” successor “if Bob called us today and said he’s retiring tomorrow.”

“When he does retire, it’s going to be Bob’s call completely,” said Iverson. “But it wouldn’t be bad to have somebody who could take over in a seamless manner.”

And Sorensen?

Well, he’s already lined up a deal with a 200-station radio network based in Las Vegas to do color on four national games this fall. He could do some announcing for Fox Sports Northwest on its Big Sky games, though he may be more interested in production.

And he’s signed on to do a weekly column with an Internet saloon devoted to all things Coug.

“That’s right,” he said. “I’m going legit.”

But not going quietly. As he signed off Thursday, he took acid note of the unfortunate development of the three Cougars charged with felony theft of, among other electronics, a laptop computer.

“Maybe they wanted to write a column for Cougfan.com, too,” he said.