The Blessings Should Be On The Audience

In “Bless the Child,” a small girl is kidnapped by a cult that worships Satan and eyeliner.

Sometimes, it’s hard to tell if they’re about to stage a black mass or head off to a Filter concert, but one thing we know is that they believe the girl is the key to Satan’s overthrow of Jesus.

The girl is in the care of Kim Basinger, playing a nurse who doesn’t work much, has a gorgeous apartment in New York City and must spend an enormous amount of time on her hair to keep it looking so lustrous even when she’s running from maniacs (at one point, her head has to be bandaged, but you’ve never seen a head wound look so lustrous and manageable).

Much of “Bless the Child” is ridiculous, but so was last year’s “Stigmata,” and that was fairly entertaining. What “Bless the Child” lacks is the earlier film’s sense of style. Given how familiar moviegoers are with these Lucifer-wants-you movies, the only way to make the genre seem fresh is to trick it up with oogy effects and stylish photography or to cast an actor who can give it a charismatic villain.

Rupert Sewell doesn’t fill the bill as Satan’s emissary, and “Bless the Child” has the static, bland look of a TV movie.

Speaking Of TV, Jimmy Smits plays a cop who’s helping Basinger (Smits has traded in Kim Delaney and the NYPD for Kim Basinger and the FBI). He’s not given much to do.

Basinger gets to enact the range of emotions from alarmed to frantic, which she does well, but the focus of the story — Holliston Coleman as the little girl — is the blandest Chosen One you’ve ever seen.

And speaking even more of TV, “Bless the Child” does attempt to distinguish itself in one way: by adding a “Touched by an Angel”-like element of religious faith to its Good vs. Evil pyrotechnics.

That show’s Roma Downey probably beats Basinger in the inspiration department, but Basinger has more inspirational hair.

This sidebar appeared with the story: “Bless the Child” Locations: North Division, River Park Square, Spokane Valley, Coeur d’Alene Cinemas Credits: Directed by Chuck Russell, starring Kim Basinger, Jimmy Smits, Christina Ricci, Angela Bettis, Rufus Sewell Running time: 1:50 Rating: R