Find Refuge In Your ‘Basement’
Dear Nancy: I’m a happily married woman with a 5-year-old son and a 2-year-old daughter. I feel very fortunate that I get to be a stay-at-home mom and take care of my children.
Everything in my life is fine and I’m well and happy, so I can’t figure out why I keep having tornado dreams since I live in a state that doesn’t even have tornadoes!
I’ve had at least 25 to 30 of them. This one is my latest. Can you help? -Debra
“I’m in my present home. My husband, my 2-year-old daughter and I are playing on the floor. I look out the window and see a white home fly over our house. I instruct my husband to get our son, who is upstairs, and bring him to the basement where we will be safe. I get up to take my daughter to the basement and look out our window. I see very distinct swirls going on around our house and I know we’re in the middle of a tornado. I wake up.”
Dear Debra: When we explored your dream the first thing I asked was, “When did these dreams begin?” You replied that they began about the time you had your first child five years ago. You also said that you had a feeling they had something to do with being a mother and being stressed out much of the time.
The site of the dream often gives us clues to the issues involved. For instance, if the scene is your job site, the dream is probably addressing the dynamics there. Since your dream location is your own home, it’s most likely a reflection of how you are feeling there.
Staying home with your children is wonderful, but 24 hours, day after day, can be too much. Raising children can feel like being caught up in a “whirlwind” of activity when you don’t take time for yourself. You shared that generally you have a habit of pleasing everyone else, often letting your own desires and needs go by the wayside while attending to your family.
The sense of feeling overwhelmed is often portrayed in dreams in images of storms, floods and other natural disasters. Often these dreams warn us that our equilibrium is lost and we are out of balance. The more severe the storm is, the greater the imbalance. Like many dreams, the solution to the problem is also given. In yours, you know you’ll find refuge from the tornado in the basement.
Houses, in dreams, are often symbols of ourselves and the different rooms represent different aspects of our lives. Living rooms can represent our daily activities, bedrooms - rest and intimacy, and bathrooms - cleansing and elimination. Because basements are underground and the foundation of our homes, they often symbolize the part of ourselves that is normally hidden from others’ view, but is the very basis and foundation of who we are. Going to your basement, taking time for yourself, saves you from the storm.
You also shared with me that although your husband is very willing to take over child care when you need a break, it’s hard for you to ask.
I’d suggest setting up a regular time, at least once a week, to take a few hours just for yourself to do whatever you choose. Make it something fun, inspiring or very relaxing, but do it just for you. You’ll find that when you take care of yourself, the whole family receives the benefits.