Inner-Self Gives Waking Life Direction

Dear Readers: Once in a while I receive a letter that needs to be shared with you in its entirety. This one struck me as a perfect example of the deep healing that can be a gift from the dreamworld.

Robert Jasperson wrote:

I was reading your column the other day about the healing that happens in our dreams, and thought your readers would enjoy hearing about an experience I had involving a dream.

During the 1980s, I was active in my church and studying the rite of Catholic Initiation. One of the many topics we covered was forgiveness. I was 40 years old and still had not developed an understanding and healthy relationship with my father. We were both stubborn and, although we lived 600 hundred miles apart, our infrequent visits seemed insincere.

My mentor and sponsor in my study program was Sister Bernadette, a Catholic nun. When I spoke to her about my father, she advised me to write him a letter and explain why I felt the way I did, and that although I didn’t approve of the way I was raised or treated as a child, I would try to find a way to forgive him.

Sister Bernadette said it’s not always necessary to mail such a letter; it could be healing just to write it.

One night shortly after my conversation with her, I dreamed:

I’m composing a letter to my father telling him that I forgive him. I am overwhelmed with emotion as the tears stream down my face.

I woke up in the middle of the night with tears soaking my face and chest. It was amazing, but from that day on, I felt differently about my dad. I stopped passing judgment and was much less defensive when we disagreed. I was able to accept him for who he was.

It seemed there also was a change within him. He became less argumentative and defensive, and we actually enjoyed our time together. He died in 1994, and I have been very grateful that we could spend his last few years being a loving family. I can’t imagine losing him and having to carry the guilt if I hadn’t tried to make things right between us.

I think the dream not only healed me but also gave my dad an opportunity to make some great changes in his life. Dreams do change our lives.

Regardless if he intended to write to his father or if his inner self was not going to wait for him to catch up to the inner work he had been doing, Robert was ready to experience the act of forgiveness and open to the possibility of having a loving relationship with his father.

What undiscovered possibilities are present in your dreams? What suggestions does your inner-self have for your waking life? Our dreams offer us many other ways of being in the world, perhaps more assertive, compassionate, creative, discerning.

It is the attention we give to our inner being - whether through dreams, meditation or other spiritual practice - that we expand our capacity for greater energy and creativity in our waking lives.

John Sanford, a Jungian analyst, writes in his book “Dreams and Healing”:

“The unconscious is the great source of our energy. Meditation upon dreams helps us tap into it. Remembering dreams is like irrigating a field, watering a garden, or planting seeds in the ground.”