Simple Analysis: Spokane Drivers Must Be Honked Off

Remember how people used to praise Spokane’s manners by noting that drivers seldom honked their horns?

Well, have you noticed how hardly anybody says that anymore?

* Fed a straight line: So we’re walking home, carrying a satchel-like briefcase. And this little girl in a front yard asks, “Are you a mailman?”

We simply said “No.”

But we should have said, “Hey kid, do these top-of-the-line Dockers look like blue-gray shorts?”

Or perhaps, “Yes, my name is Cliff Klaven. What’s yours?”

* Family Phrases Department: When Julie Wright’s daughter Alexandra was 5, the little girl referred to the Finch Arboretum as the “French Burrito.”

Five years later, the family still says that. (Alexandra’s Greatest Hits also include her calling a cactus a “cactapus.” Another time, she asked her mom, “Are cats naked?”)

* Question for bab ysitters: What are some of your favorite nicknames for the kids you watch on a regular basis?

* Fill in the blank (keeping local lifestyles in mind): “I ( ), therefore I am.”

* Proposal for a lyrical new city slogan: “Compared to a lot of metro areas, it’s still pretty easy to get to appointments and run errands here.”

* Just wondering: Which of your co-workers is the fastest walker?

* Odd but true: There are Seattle residents who are aware that their city — referred to in a recent Boston Globe travel story as “overrated” — is a tad stuck on itself.

* Warm-up question: Which would cause you the most anxiety?

a) Approaching airport security checkpoints knowing you’re wearing shoes with metal arch supports.

b) A skeptical expression on the face of the uniformed guy asking you questions at the Canadian border.

c) Being asked your weight when renewing your driver’s license.

d) You receive an invitation to join the Raccoon Lodge.

e) Your boss has “a great idea.”

f) Waking up and realizing your whole life has been a pathetic sham.

* You make the call: Should The Slice hold a Cute Baby Contest? Cast your vote by 6 a.m. Monday.

Something about the prospect of writing notes to the losers’ families strikes us as a worthy challenge.

“Dear Mr. and Mrs. Slice Reader: Here is your picture back. Your child is cute but was not selected because he/she has a ridiculous name.”

* Today’s Slice question: When waiting to board a Spokane flight at airports in other cities, how often do you encounter people you know?