Make Sure Guests Know What To Expect

Fri., Oct. 13, 2000

Judith Martin

Dear Miss Manners: I agree with your assessment that some announcements and invitations are simply requests for a personal fund-raiser. However, what if what you want to do is exactly that - host a real fund-raiser? I am thinking of a coffee, tea or barbecue for a political candidate given in a private home. What would the procedure and etiquette be for the host in that situation?

Gentle Reader: In giving a fund-raising party, consideration for guests consists less of what the hosts do than of what they must not do.

Think of it as a No Surprise party. No surprising people by pretending it’s a purely social evening. No surprising people by springing on them a candidate to whom they are opposed in the hope that they will be won over. No surprising them by giving them speeches when they are hungry. And especially, no surprising them at the amount of money they themselves are willing to pay to cease the embarrassment of being put on the spot.

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