Assumptions Are Uncalled For

Fri., Sept. 29, 2000

By Paul Turner srpaulturner@gmail.com

The Slice has it on good authority that being an American who is asked “Are you a Mukogawa girl?” gets old fast.

* Rodents report: “Last year we had a porcupine chew on our house numerous times and sample a couple of items on the deck,” wrote Mabel Horrocks, north of Spokane.

The animal met an untimely end.

“This year his brother, mate or friend visited several times with reprisal in mind, chewing up the steps and railings.”

That porcupine also was dispatched to its heavenly reward.

“We are not looking forward to next summer and a possible further vendetta,” said Horrocks.

Seems like it’s the porcupines that ought to be worried.

Here’s another story.

“My parents have a pet squirrel named Mr. Chips,” wrote Kate Elsa of Coeur d’Alene about her folks in Sandpoint. “He is my mother’s baby, and no matter what he does, from chewing up the new window frames my dad just made to hiding nuts under couch cushions, he can do no wrong. My mother has even tried to convince my dad to let the squirrel sleep in bed with them.

“Not only that, but two or three other squirrels who live outside are now letting my parents feed them and one is trying to get in the house.

“I think one day I’ll get a call from my mom saying the squirrels finally took over my parents’ house, and oddly enough I think she would be OK with that.”

* Slice salute: Marty the bookkeeper has been with Rite Aid (and its predecessors) for 40 years.

* Sometimes the mere mention of “lice” makes people scratch: OK, put that out of your mind.

* Idea for a remake of “2001: A Space Odyssey”: Have the apes club the computer into submission.

* Reader feedback: “I love the parking garage,” wrote Sharon Hunter after seeing another reader’s crack about River Park Square.

* Speaking of RPS: Organizers planning the grand opening of Restoration Hardware want to hear from people with strong ties to the historic Kress Building. That could include descendants of the Kress family or individuals who worked in the downtown landmark for many years. Call 744-3350.

* Today’s Slice question: A friend half-seriously remarked that he keeps waiting for Spokane to be discovered and suddenly turn into a “happening” place. That got us wondering. What will be the one sure sign that such a moment has arrived?

Local journalism is essential.

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