Teens find a place to call home

PARENTAL PRIDE PROMPTS MIKE AND BARB BRINTON to gush over Phil. It’s nearly a sports event as they compete to list the teenage boy’s activities – who has the best memory, can remember his most stunning accomplishment?

It’s hard to believe Philipp Bohnhof was with the Brintons for less than a year. The German boy who lives near Hanover returned home with his real parents in June after 10 months in Post Falls as the Brintons’ surrogate son. But he’s only physically gone.

“By the time he left, he was my son,” Mike says, leaving no room for debate.

Hosting a foreign exchange student hadn’t crossed the Brintons’ minds before last year. Their daughters, Elisa and Erica, were 6 and 9. Mike worked long days for Social Security in Spokane. Barb arranged adoptions for Northwest Services Inc., a nonprofit Idaho-based organization, when she wasn’t working for Kootenai Head Start.

Barb knew Northwest Services ran a small foreign exchange program, PEACE – Promoting Education and Cultural Exchange. But it didn’t cross paths with the adoption program until last year. A coordinator charged with finding host families in several states for about 50 foreign students dropped the ball. E-mail from the director of Northwest Services pleaded for help.

“Me, being a bleeding heart social worker, said, ‘How can I help?’ ” Barb says.

She proposed hosting a student to Mike. After a day’s thought, he agreed but specified that he wanted a boy from Germany to balance out his female household. Barb told Northwest’s director her family would host Phil and she’d find homes for two other students.

The match began with e-mail to Phil’s parents, Stefan and Marian Bohnhof.

“I thought about anything I’d want to know if I were sending one of my kids to live with a family in a foreign country,” Barb says.

She described the Brintons, their home, the Post Falls area, the family’s schedule and priorities. She recognized the high level of trust Stefan and Marian had to allow their son to live with a family they’d never met.

Her e-mail started a friendship and steady correspondence. Barb mentioned her family’s plans to visit Yellowstone and the Grand Tetons in early August. Foreign exchange students usually arrive in the countries they’re visiting a few days before school starts, but Phil, 16, decided to come a month early and join his host family on vacation.

From the moment Phil arrived, the Brintons noticed how much he was like any kid anywhere. He teased and argued with Elisa and Erica. He scrambled to stay on top of his homework at the Coeur d’Alene Charter Academy. He rode his bike, played chess and Rollerbladed with the girls. Stefan and Marian worried, as most parents of teens do, about alcohol, drug use and sex.

“Generally speaking, all teens are the same no matter where they come from,” Mike says. “There are cultural differences, but parents around the world have the same issues. It really hit me – we’re all in the same boat.”

Phil sold the Brintons on foreign exchange. He enriched their lives, expanded their world, introduced them to high school demands, sports and parent participation. Despite Barb’s packed schedule, she decided she’d continue as the local program coordinator.

“You give the kid an opportunity of a lifetime to come to a foreign country and study,” she says. “And it’s an opportunity for you to learn about another culture through the eyes of a youth. It’s very refreshing. It broadens your perspective of the world.”

Stefan and Marian visited the Brintons in June, then took their son home. The families are close and plan future visits to each other. Barb and Mike decided to take a year off from hosting to savor their experience with Phil, but Barb still committed to finding homes for three students. She had no problem finding two homes, but the third student, Eun Jin Lee from Korea, arrived this week with no host family waiting.

The Brintons absorbed her as one of their own daughters and Barb already can’t imagine her leaving. But Eun Jin, who calls herself Jeannie, can’t stay. Barb, 42, is pregnant. She’s high-risk because she’s had miscarriages. Jeannie, 15, will attend the charter academy. She’s proficient in English, plays badminton and field hockey, rides horses, skis and plays the flute. Host families provide room – most importantly, a bed for the student – board and emotional support. Students cover other costs themselves and offer huge opportunities.

If you can help, call Barb at 457-8461.