This ain’t the NBA

The New England Patriots have been experimenting with on-field, bench-level seats that give fans the same perspective coaches and players have.

They hope to market the seats, 48 cushioned recliners at the 15-yard line in four corners of the stadium, in time for next season.

However, in light of the recent player-fan brawl at an NBA game in Auburn Hills, Mich., some have questioned the wisdom of placing football fans so close.

NFL spokesman Greg Aiello apparently is not concerned.

“Although (football) fans are enthusiastic, I don’t know how many would take the step of attacking a player in full uniform,” he said.

Plus, he added, these won’t be your typical fans. The seats cost $25,000 apiece.

Production down

Mike Downey of the Chicago Tribune, on the steroid scandal: “I expect the 2005 MVP’s home run total to be around, oh, 19.”

Doesn’t it go both ways?

San Francisco Giants slugger Barry Bonds reportedly told a grand jury investigating the Bay Area Laboratory Co-Operative he thought it was flaxseed oil and arthritis cream he was using.

“Hmmm,” says Jim Armstrong of AOL Sports, “are you thinking what I’m thinking? If they can make an arthritis cream that helps you gain 40 pounds, why can’t they make a cream that helps you lose 40?”

Life’s so unfair …

Peter Vecsey of the New York Post, on Karl Malone’s feud with Kobe Bryant: “I’m insanely jealous and in awe; Kobe has alienated more people than any of us, all without the benefit of a byline.”

Now that’s a threat

Anna Benson, a former stripper who is married to New York Mets pitcher Kris Benson, recently talked about infidelity in sports on Howard Stern’s radio show. She said she keeps her husband in tow by threatening that if he ever cheated on her, she would do the same with everyone in the Mets organization.

And what’s not to like?

The revamped Los Angeles Lakers, minus Phil Jackson and Shaquille O’Neal, were the topic of a recent feature on ESPN’s “SportsCenter.”

O’Neal, asked by Stephen A. Smith when the conflict with Bryant began, said, “I don’t know, I don’t care. You don’t have to like me. But most people, if you ask about me … they really like me. So if you don’t like me, there must be something wrong with you.”

The Los Angeles Kobe’s

Los Angeles Lakers owner Jerry Buss, asked what he would have done had Bryant left along with Jackson and O’Neal, said, “I would have sold the franchise.”

He knows his subject

Pro bowler Walter Ray Williams Jr. has a degree in physics from Cal Poly Pomona. The title of his senior thesis: “The physics of a bowling ball.”

Putting it in perspective

Lakers coach Rudy Tomjanovich recently talked with TNT’s Jim Huber about his bout with bladder cancer.

He said he remains fiery and emotional, but that his ups and downs aren’t as severe as they used to be.

“I’ll go into a valley, but not pitch a tent down there,” he said.