Go ahead – let them invade
“Space Raiders”
•(out of four)
Mastiff for GameCube, $19.99. Rating: T (Teen).
More than a quarter-century ago, “Space Invaders” invaded the gaming scene, helping pioneer the shooting genre. Now, many moons later, the creators of the original alien blaster give players another chance to save humanity in the form of “Space Raiders.”
The game play remains remarkably unchanged, only you don’t fly spaceships this time. Instead, you have to repel the invaders on foot as the bug-like and plant-like abominations swarm through city streets destroying everything in their path.
But the real struggle isn’t man vs. space monster: It’s resisting the nonstop urge to turn your GameCube off.
The problem is this game just isn’t fun. Once upon a time, moving back and forth across the screen and banging on the fire button until your thumb went numb was the most excitement video games could deliver. Today, it’s just boring.
Everything “Raiders” offers has a bad case of the blahs. The bland and overly predictable playable characters – a street punk, a hard-nosed cop and a female reporter – give you no reason to care about their fates.
The dialogue is laughably bad, and the sound effects seem as if they were stolen directly from the two-decades-old original.
The graphics aren’t any better. From the back alley locales to the stereotypical alien critters, this game screams drab. The only vibrant colors are supplied by the blood splatters – both red and green – that paint the battle arenas during combat.
Also, the two-player mode is broken beyond repair. Not only can players not cross in front of each other, but one can also trap the other in a corner, often by accident.
The only things this game has going for it are the $20 price tag and the short yet risque shower scene found in the intro.
That’s not enough to get me to suit up. I’m done saving the world. I have served my time many times over, and this battle is not worth fighting. Alien invaders, the planet is yours.