We’re on a highway to Hell

I was watching TV and eating barbecued ribs in my Evanston, Ill., living room when live shots started rolling in from Jeffrey Dahmer’s apartment building 75 miles to the north in Milwaukee, Wisc. I lost my appetite when the reporter commented on the large stew pot police were carting out. But I would have lost my lunch if Milwaukee officials had announced they were selling Dahmer’s cookware to help pay for their investigation.

A similar queasy feeling hit me when I heard Spokane County plans to auction two vehicles used by serial killer Robert Yates in the commission of his heinous crimes.

Dahmer’s apartment building was bulldozed, his parents reportedly destroyed his possessions to keep them from morbid collectors, and a guard was stopped in the act of peddling the killer’s prison belongings on eBay. That’s as it should be. Capitalizing on Dahmer’s personal effects would have dishonored his victims and rubbed salt into the raw psychic wounds of their families.

Spokane County has displayed no such sensitivity. In fact, sheriff’s spokesman Cpl. Dave Reagan told The Spokesman-

Review’s Tom Clouse that the county hopes to get a premium price for Yates’ van and Corvette because they were driven by a murderous fiend. “I don’t think it’s unreasonable to expect someone would want to own these cars because of their notoriety,” Reagan said.

What’s unreasonable is local officials taking advantage of the fact that there are sick puppies out there who use murder memor- abilia to feed the dark spaces where their hearts should be.

In a follow-up story, Bela Kovacs, director of Spokane County’s purchasing department, made a weak stab at damage control. “The intent is to not create any kind of attention that could be interpreted as profiting on the notoriety of the vehicles,” Kovacs said. Someone should mention that to Dave Reagan.

Here’s why: Robert Yates picked up women off Spokane- area streets in those vehicles. He tortured women in those vehicles. He killed women in those vehicles. He splattered blood in the van. The shirt button one victim left in the Corvette helped bring her killer to justice.

Imagine you’re a member of that woman’s family and you’re biting into a slice of toast when you come to Reagan’s quote. Feel the bile rise in your throat as you crush the burnt bread in your fist. And then try to convince yourself this indecent business is somehow worth it because the county might pocket several thousand bucks.

Hey, why not jack up the bids by including the purses and panties of the victims in the deal? They were just hookers, after all. And I’m sure our taxes will go down when we start hitting those big auction jackpots.

While we’re at it, let’s raffle off the gun used by the Beltway snipers and the cabin where Ted Kaczynski fashioned his mail bombs. And what about the shackles from Saddam’s rape rooms? Let’s cut out the middleman and ask Halliburton to auction those directly.

I know we live in a divided nation. But can’t we all agree government shouldn’t sell the blood-soaked personal effects of serial killers to perverted freaks who get their jollies from rubbing up against pure evil? Do people really have to be told that’s wrong?

Apparently they do. “We’re trying to do the right thing by the taxpayers,” Reagan told the Associated Press.

Here’s a novel suggestion: Do the right thing by the victims and their families. Uphold the values of decent society and send those vehicles to the crusher. Make us proud instead of making us sick.