Pitcher’s worst nightmare

The smile on Woody Williams face is a dead giveaway. The St. Louis Cardinals right-hander knows he’s found arguably the safest haven in baseball – a pitcher on the right side of the most lethal lineup in the National League. “It’s a pitcher’s dream,” Williams says. Now it’s the Houston Astros’ headache.

One through eight – from table-setter Tony Womack to game-upsetter Mike Matheny, from perennial Gold Glover Scott Rolen to perennial pest Edgar Renteria – the lineup the 105-win Cardinals throw at the Astros in Game 1 of the N.L. Championship Series that begins tonight in St. Louis is a modern day murderer’s row. Even wearing gloves.

At the plate, they’re a symphony of power, producing runs in bundles. In the field, they’re symmetry in motion, stealing runs in bunches.

The Eclectic Eight – only Albert Pujols began his career with the Cards – produced 640 runs, 175 homers and 612 runs batted in during the regular season and have won 20 Gold Gloves.

Eight, it turns out, is more than enough with this juggernaut.

Even with Rolen, one of three Redbird MVP candidates and the cleanup hitter, failing to hit in 12 at-bats, the Cardinals crushed the Los Angeles Dodgers in four games in the N.L. Division Series.

“They are a formidable opponent,” Dodgers manager Jim Tracy said. “They are a sound defensive team. They’re as well managed as anyone. Their lineup is a very stressful lineup to pitch to – there is no room for error. And they can manufacture runs with their speed. They have a lot of weapons.”

On offense, they create the perfect storm with a lineup that’s a mixture of power and speed, lefty and righty, brawn and brain.

You want power? The Cardinals led the league in hitting, runs, hits and slugging percentage, and were third in homers – Pujols (46), Jim Edmonds (42) and Rolen (34) led seven players in double-digit dingers.

“It feels like you’re facing an American League team,” Dodgers pitcher Jose Lima said. “From one to eight, they are so powerful. They murder everybody.”

You want speed?

St. Louis was second in stolen bases.

You want balance?

Five Redbirds bat right, three swing from the left.

You want brains?

“Our guys embraced it all, even bunting,” manager Tony La Russa said.

What they most want to embrace is a World Series ring. This is the Cardinals’ third trip to the NLCS in the last five years, but the storied franchise hasn’t been to a World Series since 1987 or won a title since 1982.

Williams gets the Game 1 start, and he’s giddy with the eight hitters ahead of him, but mostly with the eight defenders behind him. “Their defense is what makes me happier than their offense,” Williams says. “We have Gold Glovers everywhere. Our job is to keep the ball in the ballpark and throw strikes. If we do that, we have a good chance of winning.”

The Cardinals have been knocking at the World Series door, but the additions of Womack in spring training and Larry Walker at the trade deadline in August positioned them to barge through it this postseason.

Womack, a member of 2001 World Series champion Arizona, is the ideal table-setter for this lineup, with his bat and his legs.

Then Walker joined the fun in a trade with Colorado in early August. “Larry turned us from a good club to a very good club,” La Russa said.

Rolen and Edmonds were so ecstatic with the acquisition they called the five-time All-Star and three-time batting champ before he arrived in town to welcome him. “I kind of slid right in there with my goofiness, and it worked out,” Walker said.

He also slid comfortably into the No. 2 hole in the lineup, a move by La Russa that gave the Cardinals power and speed at the top of the order, a rarity in baseball. La Russa downplays his genius in the move. “With the guys we have, you can just about spin them any way you want to and you’re not going to have a bad lineup.”

La Russa said he decided to bat Walker second in part because he didn’t want to disrupt the success of his 3-4-5 hitters – Pujols, Rolen and Edmonds – but largely because he was impressed with Walker’s on-base percentage (.401 career) and base-running ability.

“You put all that together, that’s what you try to do with your one and two hitters, get on base, for those guys that have proven they can drive in runs,” La Russa said.

In 44 regular-season games with the Cardinals, Walker had a .393 on-base percentage and hit 11 homers. He added two more against the Dodgers. “Actually, Walker has all the makeup of a two hitter and Tony saw that before anyone,” hitting coach Mitchell Page said.

Three legitimate MVP candidates follow Walker. Pick your poison among Pujols, Rolen and Edmonds. In Game 1 of the NLDS against the Dodgers, Edmonds, Pujols and Walker swatted four home runs in an 8-3 win.

Rolen hasn’t been himself since returning from a calf injury late in the season. He was hitless in the NLDS and is 3 for 29 since returning to the lineup. He hit the ball hard in the final two games in Dodger Stadium. “I think he’s really close,” La Russa said.

Rolen is rolling with the punch. “I’m not going to worry about personal numbers,” he said. “We’re playing well. It’s all about wins now. If I get blanked and we win the World Series, I’ll take it for the team.”

That brings opposing pitchers to the bottom of the Cardinals lineup – and it’s no walk in the park. Often, it’s a hit out of the park. No. 6 hitter Renteria had 10 homers, No. 7 hitter Reggie Sanders had 22 and No. 8 hitter Matheny had five and 50 RBIs.

In Game 2 against the Dodgers, they went 8 for 10 with four RBIs.

“You can’t just concentrate on any one or two hitters,” Matheny said. “It’s always somebody different every night. This is a special team.”

Said Rolen, “That’s what we’ve done all year, really from top to bottom – found a way to put some runs on the board no matter where they come from.”

The toughest out in baseball, La Russa said, is Renteria, the spunky shortstop who came to the Cardinals in the Florida Marlins post-World Series triumph fire sale in 1997.

Renteria’s at his best with two outs and two strikes against him; he delivered the World Series-winning single in the 11th inning of Game 7 against Cleveland.

“It’s like magic comes out of his bat when he needs to drive somebody home when they need it,” Lima said.

Said Edmonds, “He’s just one of the best clutch hitters around. He’s always the guy who gets the big two-out hit. He’s been there (the World Series). He’s one of those guys you want at the plate.”