SHORT STORY
COLUMBIA, S.C. – Bermuda shorts: They’re not just for elderly English gents anymore. Whether you love or hate the slightly-above-the-knee national costume of what the Spanish called “The Island of Devils,” you’ll be seeing them everywhere soon. We know this by the sheer relentlessness of those Old Navy commercials, and by the fact that the store carries at least 14 versions. Old Navy – with its low prices and smart marketing – is an arbiter of youth dress, so under-25s who ordinarily wouldn’t embrace shorts based on turn-of-the-century British military uniforms, are.
Ditto for (in increasing price order) American Eagle, the Gap, Hollister, and Abercrombie & Fitch. (Abercrombie sells a brown pair of Karen Easy Plaid Shorts for $49.50; they’re attractive, but no other store could stock them and still keep a straight face.)
And the public is ready.
“I love that Bermuda shorts have come back on the scene,” said Angela DeBruhl, 41, of West Columbia, S.C. “They hide the not-so-attractive … and they can be worn to lots of different summer social events. The name does make you wonder, though … It makes me think of the Bermuda Triangle.”
Lea Russo, 29, of Columbia, is more conflicted: “I love them on other people. But I look hideous in them.”
Some shoppers harbor visceral dislike for the long, tapered shorts.
Somehow, Bermudas inspire bigger-than-usual fashion emotions.
“HATE them!” said Wendy Griffin. “But probably only because I’m vertically challenged and they make my legs even more nonexistent than they are.”
“The patterns are too busy,” said Emily Anderson, 29. “They went out of style how many years ago now? I feel about them the way I do about Hawaiian shirts – too much for the eye to handle. And I can’t say that I’ve ever been hit on while wearing either.”
More on Bermudas
The following thoughts were taken from an eBay community board Bermuda shorts debate:
“The only people who can wear Bermuda shorts are at least a decent height. I’m short, so they look ridiculous on me.”
“I’m a tall girl, 5-foot-9, and thin, and Bermudas are too straight for my figure.”
“I choose not to wear them out because of my short, chubby legs.”
“NOO! I am so glad they are back! We thick-thigh chicks need them!”
“I’m glad they’re back. I don’t want to wear Daisy Dukes, and there are really no options other than Capris.”
What guys wear with Bermuda shorts in Bermuda
Long Bermuda hose (socks)
A white or blue button-down Oxford or other appropriate short-sleeved shirt
A conservative Windsor-knotted striped or corporate insignia or club or regimental tie, with a single- or double-breasted navy blue blazer or a sport coat or madras or linen jacket that contrasts with the Bermuda shorts.
Black or brown loafers with tassels (what the British military used to call “brothel creepers”).
From: www.bermuda-online.org
How to wear Bermuda shorts when you’re not in Bermuda
All we can say is, this is the place for common sense. Bermudas cut your lower half in half, so the stumpiness factor can go sky-high if you’re not Gwyneth Paltrow or a pink flamingo. So choose wisely.
This isn’t the time for super-flat shoes or flip-flops, or for a very conservative top. If you have anything bright/billowy/just-plain-cute, break it out for some attractive fashion irony.
Shoes that go with Bermudas
Canvas sneakers, flat leather sandals or loafers – try athletic shoes for a super-casual look. No pumps or strappy sandals.
Rich brown loafers will dress up the shorts – or black ones if your top is black.
Navy, white or ivory sneakers.
Wear short socks if you wear socks at all.
From www.eHow.com