Purely social evenings rarely held

Dear Miss Manners: I am a divorced man in my late 40s. My religious belief prohibits my ever remarrying as long as my former spouse is living.

I would like to entertain in my home; however, since I never date anymore, I am hesitant. I would like to give a decent party, and nearly all my guests would be married couples. I’ve always been told that my parties were great, but I am afraid that not many people will show up.

What do you think would be proper? I am talking about an 8 to 11 no-alcohol party with catered refreshments, a couple of games, a door prize, conversation and dancing.

Even though I am very masculine, rude remarks have been made because of my status. A woman wouldn’t have this problem.

Gentle Reader: Miss Manners can think of another reason that you might not be as popular as you would wish. If you confided your notion that ladies would not have such problems, you will have offended those who know better. Rude speculations to which unattached ladies are routinely subjected range from their not being attractive enough to be married to their being eager to snag the other ladies’ husbands.

Miss Manners can also think of a worse reason that your invitations might be rejected. There are people who cannot imagine social life without alcohol and are outraged at the very idea of spending an evening without a drink. You are better off without them, since anyone so fixated is likely to be hard on the furniture.

This should leave plenty of people who would enjoy a purely social evening, now something of a rarity in our networking society. But you will never know until you stop fretting and issue those invitations.

Dear Miss Manners: I’ll be beginning college in the fall, and my grandmother sent my father a large sum of money to help pay for my tuition. I want to write a thank-you letter but am not sure the correct way to express this, as the gift wasn’t sent to me.

Can I just say “thank you for your generous gift, I appreciate the help very much,” and go on to talk about the typical things I say to her in letters (school, friends, summer plans)? Is that enough of a thank-you note? Do I need to say how much was given, or mention that of course I will apply it to my tuition? Should my father send one, too?

Gentle Reader: She is helping to give you a college education! What would she have to do to get your full attention and a gush of gratitude?

This should be a You Changed My Life letter. And if your father has any doubt about whether he should take formal notice over the fact that he has been relieved of thousands of dollars worth of debt, the answer is: yes.