The Slice

I have a suggestion for the “Keep Christ in Christmas” crowd. If you are sincerely interested in doing the right thing and not just pushing a political agenda, there’s something you could advocate.

It’s this: Make Christmas strictly a religious holiday.

That’s right. Argue that schools and banks be open, mail be delivered and anyone wanting the day off from work be required to take personal vacation time for that purpose.

You know, reclaim Dec. 25 for those who actually believe. Put up or shut up, in other words.

You say you want to respect the true meaning of the holiday? Well, what could be a better tribute than lobbying to have Christmas refitted as the exclusive property of the church calendar and not just some cultural binge?

Seems logical to me. The trouble is, many of the folks who view the diversity-friendly phrase “Happy holidays” as an attack on all that is holy aren’t zealous defenders of the separation of church and state. Some of them would have church and state be practically synonymous.

They would have you believe that the godless forces of political correctness impinge on their right to keep Christmas as they see fit. But what they really want is for everyone to have to play by their rules.

It’s an old game.

As it happens, Christmas is on a Sunday this time. So the “Reason for the season” folks have a year to work on hauling the holiday back to church.

If certain of the faithful want to keep the day connected to its religious significance, you can’t blame them. But if what they want is to fume about the fact that not everyone is a Christian, well, all you can do is pray for them.

“Looking for a tip next Sunday: “Forget the lights, the ads and the music,” wrote Geoff Praeger. “The surest sign that Christmas is coming is that each day in December the newspaper is thrown a little closer to the front door.”

“My readers know stuff: Eric Hurst of Moses Lake took issue with The Slice’s recent list of Santa’s reindeer that included Donner.

“Donder is the name,” he said.

He’s right. But so was I, sort of.

To find out how that can be, I cordially invite you to spend part of your Sunday on the Internet.

“A report on Greg and Heather Moore’s backyard ice rink in Colbert: “The rink is nice and smooth,” wrote Heather. “My hockey playing boys (ages 8 and 12) have been skating like mad men. Last Saturday I had to make my 12-year-old stop long enough to eat something. He and his buddies were on the ice from 10 a.m. to 10 p.m.

“I think we’re some of the few people in town who want it to stay cold.”

“Slice answer: A Slice reader said King Kong would climb St. John’s Cathedral, but carillon music could calm him and everything would work out fine.

“Today’s Slice question: Does plausibility play any role in your fantasies?