Focus on maturity, not age, when choosing a partner

Q: I’m 23 and will be 24 this fall. Is it OK to date an 18-year-old, or do you think it’s too big an age gap?

Mia: In the eyes of the law, it’s just fine. Just realize that not being able to take her to a bar is going to become a drag really fast. But perhaps true love triumphs over booze.

Steve: True love is booze. As Louis-Ferdinand Celine observed, “Love is like alcohol; the more intoxicated and incapable you are, the stronger and quicker-witted you think yourself.” I say clear your head and then examine the maturity gap, not the age gap.

Q: I slept with one of my co-workers several weeks ago. We’ve been friends for a while, and one night it just happened.

Right after, he went out of town on business for a week and never called me. When he came back to work, he started acting strangely. He’s been avoiding me and not speaking to me. Then one day he started screaming at me over a trivial thing.

Here’s the thing: I’m not his direct boss, but I am more senior than him, so I could get him fired. Should I?

Mia: I guess you could try talking to him first, but if he’s truly psycho, I say go ahead and get rid of him. And let that be a lesson to him on how to treat women.

Steve: I repeat my admonition for the millionth time: Never sleep with a co-worker.

In your case, I suggest you talk to him privately and find out what’s bugging him. But make it clear you’re the boss, and if he can’t handle himself in a professional manner, he has got to go.

Q: I have been dating this guy for about 18 months. When we got together he was separated, but he has since gotten divorced and moved in with his parents temporarily. We used to be hot and heavy in bed. We’d go out, and talk about everything. Now he has nothing to say, and the sex is almost nonexistent. I can tell he has a lot on his mind, but when I ask he says he’s fine. He doesn’t even want to hang out at my house. Do you think he’s lost interest? Should I move on with my life?

Mia: Living with your parents can be a downer. Sounds like this guy has a lot going on right now. If he won’t talk about anything or consider counseling, you may need to consider taking a break. He may not be in a place where he can give you what you deserve.

Steve: My dear, I’m afraid you are the “transitional woman.” Every divorced man has one. Rarely do they end up being the second wife.