Groove, interrupted
Let’s get this out of the way first, because it’s what people really want to know:
No, Terry McMillan, writer extraordinaire, did not know her husband was gay.
She didn’t know when she met the charming young man while vacationing in his native Jamaica in 1995. She didn’t know when she married him three years later and never suspected it.
He told her late last year. She filed for divorce in January, but she says she’d already been planning to divorce Jonathan Plummer because of other concerns, including his allegedly embezzling money.
But how could she not know through six years of marriage that the man who was the inspiration for “How Stella Got Her Groove Back,” her best-selling novel turned into a popular movie, was gay?
He wooed her and he fooled her, McMillan says: “And I’m a hard woman to fool.”
Now, he’s trying to get out of a prenuptial agreement and get a big chunk of her money, she adds. (Plummer has denied knowing that he was gay when he married her.)
Much of McMillan’s writing imitates her life, usually by design. But this time, her real-life drama threatens to overshadow her latest novel.
It’s called “The Interruption of Everything” (Viking, 384 pages, $25.95) – quite a coincidence given the interruption her widely publicized breakup is causing in her own life.
The main character, 40-plus Marilyn Grimes, is at a crossroads. She’s devoted her life to taking care of everybody but herself: her three now adult children, a husband who bores her, his mother and even his mother’s ailing dog.
Marilyn’s due some “me time,” and she’s exploring how and where to get it. As in several of McMillan’s previous novels, supportive girlfriends help to pull her through.
Once again, McMillan writes with the same fast-paced, often witty, conversational tone that endears her to black women, who see themselves or people they know in her characters.
She says she got the idea for the novel because she’s seen versions of Marilyn’s story repeat itself in women she knows, women who raise their children, go through menopause and think their life is over.
“We sacrifice a lot as we’re raising our children, and then here comes the time when the kids are gone and a lot of women don’t know what to do with themselves,” says McMillan.
“I gave Marilyn the ability to look inward, to stop and think about what it is that makes her happy and unhappy.
“I wanted to put her in a position where she was willing, scared or not, to take a look at her life. It takes courage to do that.”
But there was more motivating McMillan to write this one. She wants women to see an interruption as an opportunity, not an end.
“Women can rock now more so than when we were in our 20s, when we just thought we could rock,” she says. “This is the time to waltz and do a jitterbug and break dance.
“We should live our fantasy, and do it with or without a man.”
Just like the fictional Marilyn Grimes, McMillan isn’t letting her real-life drama interrupt or stop her. She’s already looking at future projects, including a children’s book and an inspirational book for high school graduates motivated by her son’s graduation.
Writing “Interruption” inspired her in another way as well.
Marilyn is an artist who makes jewelry, decorates lampshades and does other artwork. Researching arts and crafts and visiting craft stores for the story led McMillan to begin creating art herself.
She paints light switches, decorates lamps and dyes linens. She plans to sell a line of her work and donate the profits to charity, particularly to projects that aid Africa and children.
But, no, she has no intention of writing a novel based on the latest chapter in her life, although she has plenty to say about it:
Q: How did you feel when your husband told you he was gay?
A: I was devastated at first because I couldn’t believe the level and extent of the betrayal. This feels like I’ve been raped. I’ve been violated.
Q: How are you coping?
A: I have a lot of really good friends and family. Some days I have cried just because I have moments when I remember how much I cared about him and how much fun we had.
Q: In some published reports, he’s accused you of being homophobic.
A: I don’t really care that he’s gay. He just didn’t need to use me to hide behind to come out. He did it with no dignity. I resent that.
Q: Do you regret marrying him?
A: I don’t regret meeting and marrying the Jonathan I knew. The person who has come out of the closet is not the same person I spent the last nine years of my life with.
Q: Does what has happened make Stella’s story less valid, less real?
A: No. First of all, the story is not about Jonathan. (Many facts in “Stella” differ from the real-life romance, although there are similarities – most notably that he was half her age when they met. She’s 53 now; he’s 30.)
Q: Would you take a chance on love again?
A: One bad apple does not spoil the tree. He’s one man. He does not represent all men.
There are a lot of good, honest, decent, wonderful men. Even in the homosexual community, he is no poster boy. A liar is a liar.
Q: What good could possibly come from such public embarrassment?
A: I’m not even hurt. I wouldn’t let something like this break me down. … I wouldn’t give him the satisfaction.
I’m going to make sure, do whatever I can, to make this “down-low” thing a crime. Men who have girlfriends or wives and have sex with men without the girlfriends’ or wives’ consent – it should be a crime.