Fetish for coats harmless thing
Dear Annie: My husband, “Logan,” and I are in our early 30s and happily married for three years. We both are college-educated, well-paid professionals. Our sex life is great, and I trust my husband implicitly. However, he has one quirk that bothers me.
Logan shows a significant interest in my winter outerwear – specifically my coats. When I remove my coat, he always holds it and takes it to the closet. I notice that he somehow manages to touch the lining each time. When I have friends in, he becomes the “coat-check man” so he can touch all the coats before taking them upstairs to a spare room. When I see the coats later, they always are laid down so that the linings, monograms and labels are showing.
This past Christmas, my present was a beautiful full-length mink. Logan helped me select the lining (an elegant satin), the monograms and the placement of the labels. Several times, I have come home from work and noticed that my coats have been moved around in the closet. Logan has admitted trying on the mink “just to see how it feels.”
Do I have a problem, and should I be worried? – Joy in Kentucky
Dear Joy: Your husband appears to have a coat fetish. He likes the texture, the lining, the fabric, the details. If Logan thinks it may get out of hand, he can talk to a therapist in order to get to the bottom of it. But we say it’s harmless, and you have no reason to worry.
Dear Annie: I am friends with “Tandy,” whom I have known for a short time. Tandy invited me and my husband for dinner on New Year’s and we reciprocated. We also met on her birthday and near Christmas, too. On all these occasions, I brought gifts for Tandy, her husband and their two children. But when she came to my home for dinner, she didn’t bring anything at all.
I was hurt at her thoughtlessness, but said nothing. However, last week, she asked if she could spend the night at our place because she needed to be in our area the following day. She came empty-handed again.
Am I being petty and selfish in expecting something in return? – Taken
Dear Taken: You are doing too much, and Tandy is doing too little. When one is invited for a formal dinner, it is customary to bring a small gift, such as a bottle of wine. For an overnight stay, a guest brings something for the home. It is overkill to bring gifts for every member of the household. On Christmas and birthdays you can bring presents, but if gift-giving is not arranged in advance, it is unreasonable to expect reciprocation. Since you know Tandy has no intention of following the rules of hospitality etiquette, you have our permission to stop.