Diaper disasters not best choice

Don’t ever let it be said that I am not willing to admit when I’ve made a mistake.

So I want to go on record. Asking readers to share memorable diaper-mishap stories was not the best idea I’ve ever had.

By the time I read about the 10th reader-submitted tale of diaper disasters that became part of family lore, I realized that these graphically told anecdotes could be an unwelcome visitor at the breakfast table.

Now the people who shared these stories were not trying to be disgusting. In truth, most of these recollections were presented with a certain sweet nostalgia.

But there’s really no way around the fact that many of these reports could make a few of my readers queasy.

So instead of inviting you to wince through stories featuring accounts of, uh, “unbelievable” volumes and, um, “volcanic” action and, oh, “surreal” air-quality implications, let’s just move on.

Slice answer (head games): “When I was about 6 years old in 1939, I threw a padlock up as high I could,” wrote my friend Marvin Lake. “Then I stood there and watched it come down and hit me right between the eyes.”

He still has the scar.

“This just disproves that old saying that a good bump on the head will teach you something. It didn’t teach me a darn thing.”

Discovering a porn stash: “Once I found a sack of paperbacks at the home of the man my then-mother-in-law was referring to as her boyfriend,” wrote Maria Caprile. “Let’s just say that my suspicions that he didn’t think of her (or any other woman) that way were confirmed.”

Instant replay: My favorite commercial Sunday was the one featuring the young Clydesdale.

The most diverse local elementary school: “It is not even a contest,” wrote Craig Heimbigner. “I live in the South Perry neighborhood and Grant wins this without even looking it up.”

He said the school makes him think of a United Nations building populated by little people.

Time management tip: “Don’t let the husband be involved.” — Jeri McCormick

Slice answer: Angie Gardner said the husbands of stay-at-home moms might be the people with the least understanding of the work their spouses do.

Rival gangs in a localized version of “West Side Story”: “Pro Wal-Mart vs. Anti.” — Dana Freeborn

“Smoking and Against Smoking.” — Jacob Thackston, 10

And a couple of readers suggested that many of the people who write letters to the editor could divide up, get matching jackets and head out to the street for a rumble.

Today’s Slice question: So, now that you’ve had a week to check out the redesigned look, what’s your new nickname for the S-R?