A great place to get hammered

My grandfather, whom I adored, was thick as a brick.

One year, he drew my name for the Christmas exchange, and when the time came it was clear he’d forgotten the whole deal. So my mother and my aunt went to work on him, instructing him to give me some cash, which he did.

But that still wasn’t good enough. So they went to work on him some more – all well within my earshot, by the way – to tell me that the money was to spend on something for the house I’d just purchased, my first.

All he could muster with the two of them going at him was, “Yes, mmm-hmm. New house.”

Merry Christmas.

Another year, though, he gave me one of my prize possessions: an old toolbox with a collection of his own used tools.

I wish he were here to take a trip to the Haines Hammer Museum in Alaska when it opens for the season on May 1. It sounds like his kind of place. And David Pahl, the museum’s director, sounds like his kind of guy.

“It’s a 30-year bad habit of mine,” Pahl says of his fascination with hammers. “I came to Alaska with a dream of being a pioneer, being self-sufficient, and that kind of led to tools. I guess I got carried away.”

Today, he has about 1,500 specimens – ranging from a 200 A.D. Roman battle hammer to today’s version – jammed into the world’s first museum dedicated to the hammer.

You might ask how many different kinds there can be. And if you did ask, Pahl would rattle off such a long list, so fast, that you would give up trying to write them down and ask him to just e-mail the information instead.

And here’s what you’d get:

There are drink hammers from swanky spots like New York City’s Cotton Club, where audiences would tap their glasses in lieu of applause. (Because banging your hands together is so taxing.)

There are hammers for blacksmiths, tinsmiths, saddle-makers, broom-makers, ship-builders and railroad workers.

There are hammers for breaking ice, pounding meat and straightening out saw blades. There is a 36-pound hammer and one from a Cracker Jack box.

In short, there are hammers. And when Pahl was digging a basement under the museum he even found a Tlingit ceremonial hammer used to sacrifice slaves about 800 years ago.

Isn’t fate clever?

If, somehow, you tire of hammers, Haines sits near Glacier Bay National Park and Canada’s Kluane National Park and Tatshenshini-Alsek Provincial Park. All made the grade as United Nations Educational, Scientific and Cultural Organization (UNESCO) World Heritage sites.

I figure anyone willing to go all the way to Alaska for hammers can surely find some sort of rafting, canoeing, kayaking, hiking, bird watching, skiing or fishing activity sufficiently amusing, as well.

There’s more on Haines at www.haines.ak.us and more on hammers at www.hammermuseum.org or (907) 766-2374.

Divine inspiration

I don’t know how much wine you can drink, but the Okanagan Spring Wine Festival would like to put you to the test.

Over the course of four days, May 4 to 7, British Columbia’s Okanagan Valley puts on more than 100 events. If you’re doing the math, that’s about 25 wine-drinking opportunities per day.

Some highlights:

•The Masters of Food and Wine evening at the Laurel Packinghouse in Kelowna pairs wine with what organizers call “a tempting array of delicacies.”

•Bacchanalia presents the work of more than 40 wineries at the Penticton Lakeside Resort. They’ll have food, too.

•And the Casabella Princess Wine Cruise combines alcohol with boating (a dicey proposition, as we’ve discussed in this column before). The 48-passenger paddle wheeler departs the Penticton Marina loaded with wine and hors d’oeuvres, both hot and cold.

For a complete list, visit www.thewinefestivals.com or call (250) 861-6654.

Romanian holiday

To commemorate Queen Marie of Romania’s visit to these humble parts, Maryhill Museum of Art is running “A People’s Legacy: Romanian Folk Life through Dress, Textiles and Arts” through Nov. 15.

The queen dedicated the museum near Goldendale, Wash., almost 80 years ago and she left some goodies – including Romanian ceramics – behind. Such objects were often used to mark noteworthy events like birth, baptism and marriage.

The exhibit also includes traditional clothing – much of it handmade – including headdresses, men’s vests and women’s skirts, as well as household textiles and folk art. Duquesne University, Kent State University Museum, Seattle’s Henry Art Gallery and others loaned pieces to the cause.

You’ll find information on Maryhill at maryhillmuseum.org. Or call (509) 773-3733.

Regional events

• Astoria-Warrenton Crab and Seafood Festival, April 28-30, Astoria, Ore. The Clatsop County Fairgrounds hosts a crab dinner with wines from 50 wineries and handcrafted beers from around the state, along with 200 booths’ worth of arts and crafts. (www.oldoregon.com; 800-875-6807)

•David Thompson Black Powder Shoot and Rendezvous, April 28-30, Eureka, Mont. Try your hand at competition like the men of old, early-1800s style: muzzle loading, pistol shooting, knife throwing and more. Or check out the food, primitive camp, and clothes and trading goods from the days of yore. (www.visitmt.com; 406-882-4691)