What’s with this sudden outbreak of Republican civility?

In the most disastrous voter news since the hanging chad, Republican candidates have been urged by party members to not disembowel each other during the coming campaign season.

What’ll these spoilsports try to wreck next, Christmas?

This tragic development came during the recent county GOP (Grim Old Partisans) convention. So like most outbursts of hot air, I’m hoping this, too, will pass.

But what if the love fest holds?

Civility would suck the life out of the year’s most promising political contest – the race for Spokane County sheriff.

Ozzie Knezovich and Cal Walker will face each other in next September’s Republican primary.

Last month Knezovich was named by county commissioners as our new sheriff.

The appointment was a major shocker since Walker, the Spokane Valley police chief, had the backing of party wags plus retiring Sheriff Mark Sterk.

Poor Cal had probably gone out and bought a new badge.

So I was looking forward to a wonderfully acrimonious and venom-filled contest that would culminate with Ozzie and Cal spiritedly debating each other with billy clubs in the middle of Riverside.

Now these two have been encouraged to behave like good respectful Republicans.

“I don’t want to see us divide ourselves over issues,” stated Walker in our news coverage about the convention.

I think I’m going to weep.

Politics shouldn’t be nice. Politics is a nasty business.

I’m not complaining. I just think voters deserve some entertainment before we go to the polls and wind up being stuck with our lousy choices.

Besides, it’s not as if the GOP ever needs any extra help in observing that “speak no ill of a fellow party member” baloney.

Few things are more boring than a primary between polite partisans.

A peaceful primary is like watching a cockfight with parakeets.

We’d get more political passion out of that new North Idaho College cadaver everybody’s talking about.

Even more disappointing than the GOP’s message of love was that Spokane County Commissioner Phil Harris took a lead role in this. “Sometimes, people would just be better off if they didn’t say anything,” said Harris, in another newspaper quote.

Harris advocating cautious speech is like Charlie Sheen dispensing marital advice.

I’ve always had a high regard for Harris because of his fearless, blunt-spoken ways.

In the past I have even supported Spokane County’s unique policy to make hiring Harris kinfolk a top priority.

(The Harris payroll count is 37 and counting!)

But if the commissioner is going to start telling his Republican cronies to ride the primary high road I’m hopping off the Family Phil hay wagon.

This is what happens when a politician stays in office too long. He starts acting like a statesman and there goes the ol’ credibility.

I would sure hate to go to some candidate forum and hear …

OZZIE – “I hope you’ll keep me as your sheriff because, after all, ‘Knezovich’ has already been painted on the Sheriff’s Office door. But if you decide to vote for my opponent, that’s swell, too. Cal is a sensitive fellow who has never lost his handcuff key.”

CAL – “Why thank you, Ozzie. And might I add that if I win you can still keep a good parking space at the Public Safety Building.”

OZZIE – “You the lawman, Cal.”

CAL – “Back at you, Oz.”

Please. Come to your senses, Sheriff Ozzie. Show some backbone, Chief Cal.

Start campaigning like the armed and potentially dangerous combatants you are.

Otherwise voters will have only one real choice for sheriff in the Republican primary.

A write-in for that cadaver.