Keep talking to erase distance

Dear Annie: I’m a 17-year-old girl with a boyfriend in the Army. Five months ago, my boyfriend decided he wanted to go on active duty. We have plans to get married, and he thought going active would be good for our future.

The first couple of months with him away were fine, since he calls me almost every night. But it’s going on five months, and it’s really starting to take a toll. He says he can’t afford to see me anytime soon, because he owes his dad money and can’t pay for a ticket here.

This is the first time I’ve ever been in a long-distance relationship. I love my boyfriend and promised to be behind him all the way, but I don’t know how to make this work. Any suggestions? – Montana

Dear Montana: We won’t get into the fact that you’re a little young to be making a lifetime commitment, but we will say that learning patience is a good thing. Long-distance relationships require frequent communication – phone calls, letters, e-mail – and visits when you can manage it. You occupy your time with other things, including school activities, a part-time job, volunteer work and whatever hobbies interest you. When you miss him more than you can bear, pour your heart out in a journal or blog. If you have doubts about the relationship, save them for when he returns home and you can talk face to face.

Dear Annie: After I bought my house, I discovered that my new neighbors had once been neighbors of my brother and his wife. Unfortunately, my brother and the neighbors had some serious, abusive arguments, which led to a lot of hard feelings, and from what I understand, my brother is justified in disliking them. These neighbors are highly opinionated and expect everyone to agree with them.

I want to be on decent terms with my neighbors since I have to interact with them on occasion, but my brother says he doesn’t want me talking to them. I love my brother and want to keep the peace. Can you help? – Stressed-Out in Mississippi

Dear Stressed: Even if your brother has good reason to avoid these neighbors, he doesn’t get to tell you whom you can or cannot speak with. They are your neighbors, and you must handle the relationship as you see fit. There’s no reason to be good friends, but you ought to be civil and polite. Your brother doesn’t need to know that you say hello when you pass them on the street.

Dear Annie: You attributed the poem “Dance like nobody’s watching” to William Watson Purkey. On the Internet, it is attributed to Mark Twain. What gives? – M.B.

Dear M.B.: We, too, thought Mark Twain was the author, but we were informed by an alert editor in Carlisle, Pa., that the poem belongs to William Purkey of Greensboro, N.C. The Mark Twain Archives verified that Twain did not write it. We think a good author deserves credit for his work.