Woman denys drinking problem

Mon., Oct. 9, 2006

Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar The Spokesman-Review

Dear Annie: I am an alcoholic. For the past 15 years, I have been able to fool everyone. My older brothers and sisters were all unaware of my situation.

When I get home, the first thing I do is have a drink. By bedtime, I am completely drunk, yet I have no problem getting up the next day and going to work. This has caused numerous problems with my husband. My house is a disaster, and when I am having company, I just throw everything in closets or out in the shed.

I have two teenage kids. Yesterday, I got a call from the school that my daughter has not attended class since school began. When I confronted her, she told me she is embarrassed to bring anyone to our house and that she is ashamed of me and my drinking.

But the worst thing is, my sister and her husband showed up while my daughter and I were screaming at each other. When my sister questioned me about the fight, I told her my daughter was a vicious liar. They looked at my husband for verification, and instead of sticking up for me, he walked out of the room. Now my husband has told my other siblings about it, and they all want me to get counseling and go to AA.

I will die before making my personal life a public joke. I refuse to let my siblings run my life. If I can do a good job at work, I believe there is no problem, and having a few drinks before going to sleep is just a stress reliever. I am angry with my husband, who now says he will leave me and take the kids with him. – New York

Dear New York: Your husband wants to take the kids and leave, your daughter is ashamed of you, your house is a mess, and your siblings want you in AA. You don’t think you have a drinking problem? Think again. It’s called denial when you blame everyone else for the mess you’re in. You’re not fooling anyone. Get some help before your life falls apart completely. AA is in the phone book. Please go to the next available meeting.

Dear Annie: My partner, “Otis,” and I are 20-year-old college students. The first time I met his family was when they invited me to dinner at a fancy restaurant. His father picked up the tab. Recently, Otis and I spent the weekend with his parents. They took us out to a pricey place, and again, his father paid for everyone.

How do I offer to cover my own costs without feeling awkward? – Not Quite Emily Post

Dear Not Quite: Otis’ parents do not expect you to pay for meals at fancy restaurants of their choosing. Your obligation is to thank them verbally and with a short note after. You also can reciprocate by inviting them to a home-cooked meal at your place.

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