Texting etiquette in need

Mischa, Mischa, Mischa.

Hollywood gossips have been buzzing about actress Mischa Barton’s royal lapse in tech etiquette earlier this month. She reportedly left dinner host Lord Freddie Windsor deeply offended after spending much of the evening tapping away at her BlackBerry while seated beside him at London’s Kensington Palace.

The former star of “The O.C.” may have made her blunder in front of royal company, but she’s no different from the growing number of e-addicts so hopelessly attached to their texting devices that no time or space is too sacred to send or check messages.

Consider them the obnoxious cousins of the cell phone boor – a quieter offense, but no less annoying.

But is this behavior rude or just a reality of our tech-driven times?

Technology develops so quickly “that oftentimes … the social rules take a while to get codified,” says Jim Louderback, editor of Ziff Davis Internet and lead organizer of DigitalLife, a New York consumer technology show.

In the absence of an official manual, Louderback pleads for common sense.

He likens Barton’s BlackBerry blip to the social sin of chatting exclusively with the dinner guest on your right while ignoring the one to your left.

“It sends a message to the people you’re with that they’re not important, that there are other people who are more important than they are,” Louderback says. “It’s just rude.”

Some do it out of habit, he says, multitaskers who feel the constant need to check in. Some do it to fill in the tiny spaces of boredom or use it as an electronic shield to check out of socially uncomfortable moments.

And let us not forget status. There are people who delight in flashing the trendiest of gadgets, people who like to make a show of their importance or popularity with the incessant messaging.

What really gets Louderback is when a companion sets his cell phone or BlackBerry on the dinner table.

“They’re saying something more important than you might come up, and I just want to be prepared,” he says. “And that’s just wrong.”

Unless you’re expecting urgent news or you’re an on-call professional, text-messaging in front of company is not proper social behavior, says Jacqueline Whitmore, author of “Business Class: Etiquette Essentials for Success at Work” (St. Martin’s Press, $19.95).

“It’s an indicator that you’re not mentally present,” Whitmore says. “They’re physically present, but they’re not mentally present.”

The cardinal rule: “Put people first,” she says. “The person you’re with takes priority over e-mail or a telephone call or a text message.”

In the professional world, it’s understood that a missed phone call can mean a lost client. Still, overindulging can make a bad impression on future bosses or business associates.

A poll of 1,400 chief information officers found that 67 percent thought that breaches in tech etiquette were on the rise, according to Robert Half Technology, an information-technology staffing firm in California.

The study says 88 percent think it inappropriate to leave the cell phone ringer on during a meeting, with 80 percent saying sending instant messages “is a definite don’t.”

As for people such as Lord Freddie who are subjected to and offended by this behavior, Whitmore says to speak up.

“Politely and diplomatically tell them that they seem preoccupied, that maybe you should get together another time,” she says.

If that fails, Louderback said, whip out your own cell phone or BlackBerry and text away – giving offenders a taste of their own medicine.