U.S. Sen. Larry Craig started his mea-culpa press statement about his close encounter with an undercover cop on a sour note Tuesday – and things went downhill from there. Your Common Tater was stunned while watching the live coverage when Craig began by thanking the media for “coming out” to the event. Jay Leno missed that statement later that night during his opening monologue. But the nation’s top talk-show host didn’t miss much else as he launched into a string of Craig jokes. FerXample, Leno quipped: “Idaho Sen. Larry Craig, a married, very anti-gay conservative Republican, was arrested by a plainclothes police officer for lewd conduct in a Minneapolis airport men’s room. Today, the senator’s office said it was all a big misunderstanding. Apparently, what happened was when the senator went in to use the restroom, he accidentally grabbed the wrong penis.” David Letterman was unforgiving, too: “Sen. Craig said he made a mistake by pleading guilty. And I was thinking, maybe that was your second mistake.” Ouch! ‘Tis one thing to have a congressman whom everyone ignores (newby Bill Sali). ‘Tis another to have a senior senator who has become the butt – oops – of late-night jokes. I sure miss the good old days when the late Helen Chenoweth conjured black helicopters and served salmon at barbecues.

Vick got sequence right

Larry Craig’s nightmare also has inspired homegrown jokes that’d give the comedians a run for their money. An SR wag said Craig should have paid attention to former Atlanta Falcons QB Michael Vick, who pleaded guilty to dogfighting charges this week – First protest your innocence, then admit your guilt … Hear/See/Speak No Evil: Seems leaders of the Kootenai County Republican Central Committee stood by their man Tuesday night while the firestorm broke over them. But some rank-and-filers were livid that they were forced to hear a plea for support from long-time Craig aide Sandy Patano with little chance to comment or ask questions. But that’s not a surprise. Top local R’s never said a peep about Prosecutor Bill Douglas re: his embarrassing e-mail flap involving flirtatious ex-hired hand Marina Kalani. Methinks they weren’t as reticent when Demo Bill Clinton was in the national cross hairs … French Fries (or “Larry Craig’s future job prospects”): 1. Village People Reunion Tour fill-in, 2. Instructor for batters with wide stances, 3. Restroom attendant, and 4. Actor for instructional film, “Scared Gay.”

R.I.P. Idaho football

I wonder if ex-UIdaho football coach Mike Holt can be charged with conspiracy to commit mayhem, if/when Vandal players are carted off the field Saturday while playing No. 1-ranked University of Southern California in Los Angeles. After all, UI is ranked 113 out of about 119 Division I teams in one preseason football mag. A big payday isn’t worth a rash of season-ending injuries … At least one Idaho Republican got something right in the last seven days. Prosecutor Douglas finally signed off on the prison release of meth-mom-gone- straight Kendra Goodrick. P’haps he’s trying to polish his image? … This edition of Hot Potatoes was brought to you by the No. 44. Or the approximate point spread by which USC is predicted to win over UI Saturday. And the IQ of the dialing-for-dollars individuals who arranged this ginormous mismatch.