All you can do is pray they stop
Spokane’s Mark Nelson looked out his office window and saw a couple canoodling in a park.
They were reclining.
A bit later, he glanced out again and things had heated up. It made him wonder how many Slice readers had been embarrassed by the romantic behavior of others in public.
And he had another question: “How do you communicate your discomfort?”
Well, shouting “Get a room!” is one classic response. But as Nelson is a Lutheran pastor, that might not be the best option for him.
Wouldn’t sound right.
“Marmot Lodge report: As of Monday morning, readers of good will requesting the following nicknames had been accepted as members: Bosco, Betsy, Marmee, Man Mountain Marmot, Cavenaugh, Calamity Jane, Ground Hogs, Fuzzy One, Scooter Babe, Marmotress, Fred Schmenge, Olaf Schmenge, Mollymar, Marmota Flaviventris, Grama Groundhog, Sam, Memosa Marmot, Ammonite the Extinct, Jenny Marmotte, Twinkle Toes, Spud, Li’l Eddie, Bolt, Marmini, Gene, Moore Marmot, The Provider, Mr. Wonderful.
Geezer, Riddles, Ger Bill, Mardex, Des, Fur-Dee Least, Curly, Matilda, Judge, The Wizard, Moon Doggie, Faery Lady, The Marmette, Mar, Charlie (2), Thea, Muffet, Panhandle Phil, A-Lo, Tshmikain Annie, Pom-Pom, Digger (5), Rebrab, Pat (2), Honeydew, Martha.
Marvin, War Cloud, Queen Mary, Rmar, Fuzzy Butt, Fusa, Marmie, Bill, Smiley, Chuckles, Boom Boom, Princess, Sadie Sadie Married Lady, Friend, Rocksie, Marmalade, Libby, Handsome Harry, Lulu, Mighty Marmot, Whistle Pig, High Priestess of Marmots, Peanut, Milk.
Mother, Flash, Proud Mama Marmot, Lady Chubby Cheeks, Mrs. Marmot 77, Mr. Caddyshack, Cody, Bumble, Barb, Geneo, Dar, Yukon, Jo, Pappy, Breezy, Jay-Jay, Grasshopper, Booker, Buttercup, WebGuy, Marmondo, Brycie, Rover, Jellyman, Tay, Faybelle, Muskrat Envy, Fuzzy, Frankie, Bea and Willy.
There were several other applicants accepted as members whose handwriting I simply could not read.
That first batch of submitted applications also included $270 in contributions to the Spokane Humane Society.
Stay tuned.
“Choose your milkshake thickness: A) Sucking it up feels like a neck exercise. B) It is distinguishable from a cup of ice cream and you can actually consume it with a straw. C) You could plant a flag pole in it and it would remain upright. D) One notch more frosty than chocolate milk. E) You need a fork. F) Other.
“Today’s Slice question: What does it take to get you to throw out a pair of jeans?