Dancin’ too trite

I can’t speak for all sports fans, but for me, I’m starting to find all the “dance” and “going dancing” metaphors about the NCAA basketball tournament tiresome. I’d like to commend Spokesman-Review sportswriter Steve Bergum for not using any of this shopworn lingo in his story of the Zags’ WCC tournament win over Santa Clara (March 6). And shame on John Blanchette for telling us they’re going to the “Big Dance.”

With that in mind, I’d like to suggest to sportswriters a whole new and fresh set of metaphors for the tournament. Instead of “goin’ dancing,’ ” how about if teams like the Zags are “goin’ sewin?’ ” Has a nice ring to it, don’t you think? Think about it. A team could get its “ticket punched for the sewing circle.” It could “weave a tapestry of wins” through the tournament, and even win “that darn game.” (Get it? Darn?)

The team could “thread” its way into the tournament, “stitch” together wins along the way, and “hem” a victory over an archrival. It could even win a big game by playing a com-pleat game and giving their opponent a good “cuff” on the chin. (Get it? Pleat? Cuff?)

Yeah, yeah, I know, seems a little girly. But please, sportwriters, enough already with the “big dance” and “goin’ dancing.’ ” It’s tired. It’s old. You’re writers. So write, and think of something fresh and original.

Michael J. O’Neal

Moscow