In-laws refuse to include her

Dear Annie: I’ve been married to “Ed” for six years. We are not young. Ed is an only child and, according to his parents, can do no wrong.

We live a few blocks from his mom and dad, and I am not allowed in their home, nor am I ever invited to go out to lunch or dinner with the three of them. My mother-in-law says, “We don’t want to share him, so you can’t come.”

Some mornings, Ed gets up and says, “I’m going to play golf with Dad,” and away he goes. He always picks up Mom, too. I’m not allowed to come along.

This is a small community, and most of our neighbors see them out together. I often get phone calls asking if I’m OK since they never see me with the three of them. This really hurts. What can I do? – Lonely in Beaumont, Texas

Dear Beaumont: What is wrong with your husband that he allows his parents to treat you so poorly? You don’t have to be included in every golf outing, but for heaven’s sake, you should be welcome in your in-laws’ home and certainly able to enjoy a dinner out with them on occasion. Their total dismissal of you is both odd and insulting. You are a member of the family now and should be treated accordingly. If Ed doesn’t realize his parents’ behavior is not acceptable, you ought to enlighten him. He should insist his parents include you, at least some of the time. Otherwise, decide what you are willing to tolerate, and the next step is counseling.

Dear Annie: Over the last several months, my husband has told me his well-endowed secretary wears low-cut attire to work. He wonders why she would dress like that and why her husband doesn’t object.

I suggested that maybe he should impose an office dress policy, but he said it isn’t up to him, because she reports to his boss. My husband jokes and laughs that it is good for customer relations. (I don’t think that’s very funny, by the way.) Also, according to my husband, his boss wants to have a young, professional image. I think this type of clothing is inappropriate and tacky and doesn’t fit the image the boss intends to project.

I guess I’m old-fashioned, but why do young people today think exposing their skin is OK anywhere? My husband says his secretary has a great work ethic, but isn’t character just as important as doing your job? – Wondering in Wisconsin

Dear Wondering: Low-cut attire is inappropriate in an office because it looks unprofessional. It’s too bad your husband’s boss doesn’t realize that the eye candy could be bad for his business reputation. However, we strongly urge you to stay out of this. It’s your husband’s job, and the dress policy is up to the boss.